This week in our simplifying series I wanted to delve into the topic of entertainment. I want to make it clear from the start that this is definitely a liberty issue (2 Cor. 3:17). Each of us is responsible to pray and make wise decisions for our own families, and thus Aaron and I have sought to do in our household. We have freedom in Christ, but let us not use it as an opportunity for the flesh or as an excuse for doing evil, but rather to serve one another (Gal 5:13, 1 Pet. 2:16). Our standards may seem strict to some, but maybe we all should re-evaluate the long term impact that our choices of entertainment can have in the home.
You very well may observe in the modern American home the presence of a television in each room of the house for every family member to have ample opportunity to watch their own shows without the conflict of other opinions. You also may notice a significant absence in family gatherings around the dinner table to share at least one meal a day. Rather, everyone would prefer being in their own corner, entertaining themselves, or else absent from the home all together. I believe the increase in technology and entertainment pieces around our homes has made a significant impact on the degradation of the Biblical family structure…and where there is no family community and fellowship, we see the falling apart of families nationwide.
1 John 2:15-16 “Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.”
What is the purpose of entertainment?
More often than not, entertainment is an idol in our nation. Just take a look at Hollywood. Millions of dollars a year are poured into making the most entertaining, dramatic, awe-inspiring films. Biblically speaking there is certainly room to relax and take time to rest, as the Word reminds us frequently of the importance of resting (Exodus 35:2). Entertainment should serve the purpose of resting in moderation, as this also can become an idol and lead to poverty (Prov. 6:10). It can also be used effectively in building the family, strengthening communication and relationships, as well as whether or not it is developing skills and knowledge.
But with every entertainment possibility we should prayerfully evaluate the following questions:
1. Is this entertainment choice serving a meaningful purpose? Is it a wise investment of our money, time or resources?
2. Is it building our family in some way (developing relationships, strengthening communication)? Or will this item tear our family down?
3. Is it helping to build skills or strengthen knowledge and learning that can be used for the glory of God?
In an effort to build our family, strengthening family relationships, and simplify the entertainment choices in our lives, in addition to choosing frugal options for entertainment, we have come to a few conclusions…
Television
We decided from the beginning of our marriage that we would rather avoid the presence of a television in our home. We felt that this was one means of safeguarding our family against temptation and sin, guarding what we set before our eyes (Psalms 101:3). Although we have appreciated the use of televisions in the past at family and friends, and although not all that is presented on TV is harmful, the majority takes much time and discernment to weed through. As we have experienced while on vacation and having the ready use of a television, it has reinforced our realization that It can often become a time waster for us, as we tend to just veg out and lose track of precious time that could be invested elsewhere.
I struggled with the temptation of secretly watching soap opera’s and stirring up romantic feelings and thoughts before the proper time in my early teens, and do not want my children (my daughters especially) to be subject to the temptation (or to the worldly view of love presented on such shows). This is just one step we have decided to take in our household for guarding the entrances of our home.
Movies
Movies also have some of the same pitfalls as television, and thus must be chosen with wisdom and discernment. As a family we greatly enjoy a movie on a limited basis as it serves to provide a little rest and relaxation, especially after a busy day. Many of our choices are centered around the movies ability to strengthen our knowledge of history, or to inspire us through a story of hope. Many movies can be beneficial as we seek to discuss the meaning behind the story/theme and thus builds relationship, thinking skills, and shared experience.
We subscribe to Netflix, because it does offer a good variety of movies delivered right to our door. That way we don’t have to waste time in the movie store viewing a wealth of trashy titles. We chose intentionally to limit our plan to the very minimal plan, which provides us with 2 DVD’s each month (which costs $5 each month). I really appreciate this because he helps guard how much we watch.
One year we set a goal for ourselves not to rent any movies. Why? Mainly to cut back on our entertainment spending. We chose instead to borrow movies from friends and family or to watch a select amount of free movies available on Hulu.com (for those with high-speed internet access). Many libraries offer movies as well for borrow. Overall, We try to limit our movie watching to once a week.
So rather than spending too much time finding outside entertainment, purposeful entertainment can be found in activities that build the family. Here are a few ideas…
Family Nights
Growing up, Friday night was our sacred family night. We declined outside invitations in order to make family a priority. I greatly appreciated this tradition in my family and want to continue it in my own little household as our family grows. These were purposeful nights focused on building our family relationships, learning to enjoy one another’s company, and just have fun together. As a result of this focus, our family relationships are very close to which I am very thankful.
Rather than spending a lot of money on entertainment, we found more pleasure in the following activities…
Family Walks
Walking, roller blading, biking…all these activities would often be seen included in our family night activities in the Taylor household. We had several favorite trails or paths to enjoy and I have loved seeing these pass on to my own family now since getting married. Aaron and I love walking along the Vancouver waterfront (Columbia river). It is even where he took me the night he proposed!
Reading Together
We enjoyed a lot of family reading together growing up, including materials like C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia, etc. Now in my own little family, we find much enjoyement in worship together in the evening, completing a project together, or simply reading A Reason for God by Tim Keller (our current book), Advent readings during the holidays, or other materials.
Other frugal activities we have done include having a family picnic, getting ice cream at our local TCBY, enjoying the farmer’s market, etc. All in all, our vision is to see our family grow stronger together, to love one another’s company, and to wisely use our time for the glory of God.
If you came to our house, you would find the entertainment items quite simplified…no TV, DVD player, computer games or game consoles…but rather an abundance of good books and our laptops (which can also become a distraction, as I have struggled with, if not used purposefully).
What activities have you found to be effective in simplifying your entertainment choices? Do you have any purposeful entertainment ideas to share?
P.S. I am running out of ideas for the continuation of my simple living series…if you have any ideas or special requests for future posts on the topic, please send them my way!
Thank you for this post. It is right on! You may have mentioned this already, but do you use your laptop to view your Netflix DVDs?
Yes, we use our laptop to watch videos.
It took me two or three years to convince my husband to chuck the TV (just for the summer). That was 9 years ago, and we are so happy not to have it.
My family thinks we’re “extreme”, but it was one of the best things that we’ve done for our family life.
in all honesty tv is a big time waster for me
usually not network tv..but watching things on the internet, or on my laptop.. .or dvd’s.
this post was very interesting and helpful to me. thanks
I am totally in agreement with you, Lindsay! We also avoid tv and keep our movie watching limited (I would guess that we watch only 2-4 per month). We have found that we much prefer to spend the time together talking or doing something more productive. When spending time with others, we would rather have an evening of fellowship through talking, or playing a fun game, etc.
Not only does this protect our family and encourage us to spend our time more wisely, I think that it also gives our family much more time in general, to be involved in our church, to build into other relationships, to spend time together with our kids, or to do productive work either independently or as a couple. We are so blessed by keeping this type of entertainment to a minimum, and it’s good to see someone writing on the topic!
You make several excellent points here!
As always I love your posts. I visit you weekly!! I will link to this subject on my blog for I struggle with the TV situation. I would love to get rid of ONLY TV in the house. I homeschool two kids; 8 and 4. They both know that no one watches TV Monday through Thursday. Friday and weekends we do watch television. But, I have found they try to make-up for what they have missed during the week. I have put a stop to watching TV during the day on Friday. They have to wait until evening. My husband, is not yet ready to lose the TV altogether. He works hard and watches after the kids and I go to sleep. He does value family time when he comes home.
Continue to share your blessings through your words.
I have really enjoyed reading your blog.
In our family it is the computer not the tv that needs monitoring. The tv is hardly ever on but someone is always on a computer.
We have tv’s in our home. We watch mostly the cooking channel, discovery, the history, the news etc. I do watch some reality shows. Personally I don’t see tv anymore tempting than the internet. We also like the crime dramas.
I was never much of a commercial watcher, commercial comes, turn the channel!
The family computer is in the living, I don’t believe in having computers in the children’s room. Both husband’s laptop and mine are in our homes offices. We don’t have any video games or anything, I’d rather have my children our skating (ice,and rollerblading) and our girls are involved in gymnastics, and ballet.
My husbands work late a lot of nights. But when he is able to come home early we all have dinner together.
I would love ideas on simplifying photographs and simplifying books. A lot of the books I read are Christian books that I can’t get at a library so I’ve had to purchase them, but now they are piling up. How do I decide which ones I will read again? Which ones should I give away? Also, I have a problem with children’s books piling up as well.
And…what types of craft supplies do I really need to do craft/art projects with my kids, and what are a waste?
What should I have on my desk and in my desk and what should I toss?
Thanks for your help and for all of your posts!
My husband and I came to the conclusion last spring that we were spending way too much time watching tv. It’s one of the dangers of having a DVR or TiVo. I think the writers’ strike was a blessing to us, because it forced us to take a second look at what our priorities were. The sad part about many of the shows we were watching is that they were so “of the world” and not of God. He and I have agreed, though, that this year we will not be adding any new shows, and that we may even cut out several of the ones we were watching.
On another note, it’s not just the shows that are worldly, but the commercials are too. Some of them are just downright raunchy, or they just are causing us to want more than what we need (which I guess is the point of them to begin with). Some friends of ours stopped watching sports because of the commercials during the station breaks.
Another simplify topic – how long does one hold onto children’s clothes? My daughter is 7, and then I have 3 boys … we still have all of her clothes.
As Christians, we make conscious decisions where we work, where we spend and donate money. Yet often our investment and entertainment choices contradict our faith. We should strive to have consistency in our lives and follow God’s ways. He has set boundaries for our protection. Using a moral compass as a litmus test is critical! Great Post!
Jay Peroni
Hi, just a thought, and maybe you have already done this. Have you done simplifying your time? Something about schedules as far as being more efficient throughout the day.
I would also love to see a post on this subject. I did not grow up in a Christian home so I feel lost at times when it comes to the practical aspects of “going about the day” with two little ones. I would love some direction in this area. Also, I’m wondering how I can find opportunities to minister to others that include my children (3 and 1)?
Hi, I love your blog too. It is very inspiring.
Some ideas about other simple entertainment that may be good for families with children that are a little bit older:
* Playing charades – This is such a great was for the family to spend time together laughing and learning and having fun. Plus, it takes no investment.
* Making up stories – My sister-in-law often uses her laptop to type up stories that the kids make up. Than they either use clipart to decorate it or print it out and illustrate it themselves with drawings, stickers, or stamps. It is a great way to help them explore their imagination. Also, they LOVE to hear their parents, aunts, and uncles reading their stories back to them. It is such a gift and an affirmation for the kids.
* Cooking and gardening together – In our house, cooking and gardening as a family is often our relaxation and rest, rather than work – that is when we do them together as a family.
* Dancing – This may seem silly to some, but we love to put on a CD and dance around the living room. DH and I take turns dancing with the kids, lifting them up and spinning them around. It’s good fun – but I don’t know about relaxing!
I love this post, and your entire blog! I have similar feelings about television, because it seems like the crux of the deterioration of the traditional family unit. I hate how even new houses are being built like apartments, so that each famliy member can go their separate way and never interact or have their show interrupted. I even saw plans for one house with small kitchenettes in the bedrooms, so nobody ever had to eat meals together! How terrible. And it just seems like at the root of all this is what amounts to an addiction to TV. People just cannot let it go.
We have a TV, but our watching is very limited. My DH likes to watch our alma mater’s football games, and we watch a DVD once in awhile. However, we don’t live and die by it- if we don’t watch, we don’t watch. End of story.
We have decided that we will try to wean ourselves even further after reading a recent publication by the American Society of Pediactrics. They state that they have now found that there is a direct connection between TV viewing and Autism and ADHD, and reccomend that children under the age of 5 years old not be allowed to watch any TV at all, even in moderation. The risk of developing these disorders increases exponentially with the number of hours a child watches per day. WOW. And people STILL watch?!
My DH and I both have ADHD, and have noticed a significant improvement in our ability to focus and organize since we have drastically cut our TV watching to almost nothing. I think it’s important that all people realize that moral purposes aside, there is a true, urgent, medical advantage to avoiding the TV. That combined with the garbage that is aired, and you have a perfectly sound reason to cut it right out of your lives.
Anyway, I would love to see you write “simplifying your pantry” and “simplifying your wardrobe” segments. Because you do so much cooking from scratch, what kind of ingredients do you keep on hand, and how much? How do you store produce, and for how long? What sort of things do you can and preserve? How much do you buy at a time? What items do you classify as “basic needs,” that you always keep on hand, and what sort of things do you make out of them? As for your closet, I noticed in the photos that you posted of your bedroom that you have very few clothes. What do you consider to be the basic needs of a wardrobe? On what occasions would you purchase new clothes, and what do you do with the old? How many sets of multiples do you keep (tennis shoes, undergarments, socks, t-shirts, jeans, etc)? I am always looking for more ways to simplfy, and I would love to hear your input on these topics. Thanks again for all of your hard work in creating this blog, you and your family seem like wonderful people that would be fun and fascinating to meet, and happy belated birthday!
Hey Lindsay
I haven’t actually ever introduced myself to you via your blog, so I’m going to now! I found your blog somehow and have thoroughly enjoyed it and have gleaned good info from it! I am a homeschool mom with 4 sons, ages 6, 5, 3, and 1. I have been making baby steps the last few months to become healthier household! Last month was my first month to buy organic, frugally of course! I have been cooking with lentils and all sorts of beans…it’s great! I’ve been making cream cheese, whey, butter…it’s awesome! It makes me so excited to know that God truly knew what he was doing when he designed a cow!! I also have started making all our own household cleaners. Anyway, that’s a little about me! I have put links to your website on my blog; I hope that’s okay
Now, about your post today, we got rid of our TV about 5 months ago and it has been SUCH a good thing for our family!! My boys have really developed a love for reading…me reading to them chapter books is a huge hit! Now, however, I really have to monitor their computer time!! I recommend getting rid of TV to EVERYONE!
Kudos to you all who can function without a T.V.! I thought we were doing good with only allowing one in the house! My question is, how do I train my 3 girls to understand that even though EVERYONE else is watching t.v. all the time doesn’t mean we will. My 6 year old pretty much thinks this is a punishment and doesn’t realize it’s for her own good(boy did I just sound like a mom there or what!). I’m having a hard time finding a hobby for her to enjoy instead of the tube. HELP! As far as other topics for your simple living series…I would love to see people simplify Christmas and see it as it truly is. I am getting a little better at that every year, but I still find myself completely stressed out by Christmas no matter how much I plan ahead and no matter how much we cut back. Some suggestions would be most appreciated!
I have not commented on here before but thought I would share a few comments on the positives of secular entertainment. My husband and I have recently found how the media can be used to start conversations with non-believers about the gospel. No movie or book is ever written without a specific goal or message that the director/writer wants others to get. We have found that these themes/messages often show where our world is in their pursuit of God. They also seem to follow the theme of good vs. evil, the need for redemption, and often the need for a sacrifice to save humanity. We are very purposeful in our movie-watching, to look for these questions that our world may be asking, and then to facilitate conversation with non-believers using that movie/book. Thanks for your sincerity!
We don’t have a TV in the house either, which shocks most people when they come over for the first time, but we feel that our marriage and family have been benefited by not having the distraction.
Lately though we have been struggling a bit with the level of distraction and temptation presented by the internet. I know a couple of people who have gotten rid of their TV’s, not out of conviction or a desire to watch less programing, but simply because most of their shows are available to be watched online.
For myself, I am not too interested in watching TV shows online, but I find that if I am not careful I can spend a lot of time reading blogs and doing other “positive” things online. Of course I am grateful for all of the wonderful resources that I have access to via the internet (especially THIS blog, thank you!) but I guess I am just finding for myself that I have to be careful not to spend so much time trying to learn how to be a good wife, mother and homemaker that I ignore my husband, children and home.
I would, like a previous commenter, be interested in how you have chosen to simplify your wardrobe choices.
I agree with you on the television subject, and wish I could get my husband on board with the idea. (He likes it for background noise, but it always seems to suck us in to a show.) I would love to get rid of the television!
Oh man, sorry I’m such a blabber mouth, my fingers just get going and I can’t stop.
This is a good post. We do have a TV, but we know that this has to be limited and we have to be very careful. There really isn’t a great deal of shows on worth even watching. And if we do watch TV, we don’t watch regular TV with our girls. There is just too much in between on commercials and things that I don’t feel like they need to see – even when my husband is watching sports, we have to avoid the commercials, ads for new movies, actually ads for any product in general have gotten really bad. We enjoy family movie nights where we will either get a movie from the library or watch another “tested” kid movie (obviously some supposed kid movies, we’ve found not to be for kids with language and inuendos), we eat popcorn and all cuddle on the floor or couch. There are a couple kids shows that I let my girls watch as well, Dora, Diego, Lazytown (Isabella loves gymnastics). But even if it is a kids show it has to be something that I have sat down and watched with them before and also not something they watch for a long time. I think it can get to the point where some people use it as a babysitter. I love that you mention at the beginning about this being a liberty issue and that we each have to be responsible for our decision. I think its great if people don’t have a tv, but I think if you learn to control the tv that is good too. It works for us, although we have had to purpose in this. Alot on both sides of our families would sit around with the tv on all day. This was something we talked about when we got married and had to really make decisions on and purpose to do. I think entertainment as far as television/movies has to be judged according to God’s standards like anything else. We had a family member recently who had mentioned to us about them not wanting to have a tv other than just for movies, they didn’t have any regular tv coming in, but they watched a ton of movies. Then when we went to their house they rented a rated R rather scary movie and we had brought our 2 year old. Thankfully, we had eaten dinner together, we weren’t the only ones that came and we were able to excuse ourself due to “baby’s bedtime” and not risk offending them.
Other activities we like are walks, hiking, biking, parks, in our small yard last night we had a little nature hunt – finding mushrooms, eggshells from a bird, feather… Now that our girls are old enough to understand, they love playing hide and seek, especially flash light hide and seek in the house – one hides with mommy, one hides with Daddy. Trips to the library where they can pick out books. And lots of singing and dancing going on over here – my girls especially love Steve Greens “hide em in your heart” CDs.
Great post! I find that TV often keeps you distracted from more important things you should be doing and generally speaking, kids are so easily attracted to it I really think for our kids we wouldn’t be doing them any favors by letting them sit in front of the TV. An occasional movie is fine with me but it’s interesting that my girls (5 and 3.5) rarely even want to sit through the whole thing…they’d rather be hopping around the living room doing gymnastics!
Not sure what a neat friendly title would be but maybe an idea for your Simplify series could have something to do with how, in general, you can simplify the lives of your children so that friends don’t become their primary focus, but rather their sibling relationships. Does that make sense? I know you have a lot of siblings and I’d be curious to learn how your parents structured your time when you were younger and what kind of limits they set on outside friendships…who goes where and for how long, etc.? I find that my 5 year old is so eager to play with friends and I can see how that can get out of hand rather quickly as for our family my prayer is that my children are best friends with each other. (not to say of course outside friendships don’t have a place, just not above sibling relationships…) Just an idea
Spending family time together is so important. I am currently working on putting together a 40 day T.V. free challenge for families. It will take a while to complete though, because my goal is to include one activity and one worship idea for each day. If any of you need ideas for family time though, I would encourage you to check out the family fun ideas at joshuashouse.com. These activities were created with a lot of prayer, and all strive to point to our Creator.
Thank you for your honest and straightforward post Lindsay.
Hi, Lindsay. I have an idea for your “Simplify” series. What about the home office? How to have a simply system for files, bills, incoming/outgoing mail… We have limited our “office” space to a small table in the living area of our small two-bedroom apt. but we still seem to be overrun with tons of paper! I’d love to hear how someone else is tackling this.
You had a good word about entertainment. We find that we must really be vigilant in guarding our home against what is allowed to come in through movies, tv, and even books and magazines. If we are not careful, these things will dull our senses, and eat away our time!
Thanks for sharing!
Shannon
Port Neches, TX
I grew up in a home without a tv and it certainly was a blessing. It gave me a love for reading, knitting, crocheting,drawing and painting. Now we just rent a movie once in awhile…but sometimes when it comes time to watch it I find I would rather do something else. I am not against tv but it does turn out to be a timewaster sometimes.
We also had family nights most Fridays or Saturdays. I have lots of good memories of “swim night” at the YMCA, camping, Scrabble games, tennis, free symphony concerts (we all played the violin at one point), sleepovers at Grandma’s farm, etc. Great post
Lindsay,
I LOVE this post. My husband and I have noticed since school went into session that our family has kind of split up. My teenage son goes into our bedroom to go onto the computer. Our preteen son goes into his bedroom to play his video game. I’m typically in the kitchen. My husband is watching tv in the living room. After a family outing on Saturday (which neither boy was happy with), when we came home, we all separated. I told my husband that it breaks my heart. So, we are now eating dinner together, whether my husband can get home in time or not, and will plan on Friday nights as our family time.
For your next post, can you talk about simplifying paper work? I am terrible with organization and we seem to keep everything! Just a suggestion.
sometimes we do arts/crafts together http://funmajors.blogspot.com/2008/05/family-worship.html
Family nights are the best! I love your simplifying series. Another idea for your series:
*keeping clothing simple — how much clothing does one person really need?
*simplifying craft supplies (I need help!)
You can also often find geat videos at your local library. Thanks for the post.
This is a great post. Choosing entertainment is very tricky at times. Especially as the kids get older.
Our family has not had a tv since we were married almost 12 years ago. It has been one of the best choices we have ever made. It has driven some of our family crazy at times. Causing them to repeatedly offer us tv’s dvds….
We have also chosen to limit the outside activities we are involved in. My hubby is very athletic and loves to get out with the boys and play sports so the boy each get to play baseball and he coaches them. They love this time with their dad being the coach of their team. Our girls take ballet one day a weak. I know sports can be somewhat controversial, but this is what works for our family.
Blessings to you
christa
Lindsay, I love your simple posts. I am not a TV watcher, if I do watch TV I tend to watch sports (football or basketball). Besides that I mainly watch movies/DVDs. But I am perfectly content to have the TV off to read a book, work on computer, etc. My DH is the opposite – he would rather have the TV on. Hopefully I can get him to cut back on that a bit.
In regards to new topics, I have a question. My DH is leaving his current job on Sept.19th and he has applied to other jobs but hasn’t heard back as of yet. So there is a possibility of him not working for a bit which means I will be the sole breadwinner. Do you have any suggestions/recommendations for a young couple, no kids, to be more frugal with the possiblity of living on one income, instead of our normal two?
We also chose to not have a TV from the beginning of our marriage. Most of our friends do, which is fine by us. We appreciated going over to their places to watch some of the olympics.
It has turned out to be a good choice for us, though, as I have health problems that mean spend lots of time in bed. I would not be able to resist the temptation to turn on the tube to pass the time, whether it was a decent show or not…
Hulu.com has been great for us, though. We usually don’t use it more than once a week, but we love to watch old TV shows on it (like Father Knows Best, Dick Van Dyke). They’re less than 30 minutes so it hardly makes a dent in the evening, and it gives us something to laugh about together and for days afterward. In the same genre, we pick up the $1 DVDs of Andy Griffith whenever Target has them. We have gotten so much joy, jokes, and mutual laughter out of these old shows!
Thanks for sharing Lizzy. We actually were able to watch some of the Olympics online as it all was made available to the public. It was great!