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This post is written by contributing writer, Kat.

The Story

Several years ago, I went to the grocery store with my first baby.

She was sitting in a cart that had been sterilized to surgical specifications by my vast supply of wipes and cleaners. She played with a toy that would stimulate her intellect and while shopping, I spoke and interacted with her, ad nauseum, as every new, over achieving mom does.

When I reached the cereal aisle, I found, much to my wanna-be Type A chagrin, that they had rearranged the cereals. As I searched for the items on my list, I took a couple steps to the right, away from the cart. And my baby girl.

Unknown to me, a large, impatient man came up behind me. Apparently, incapable of waiting his turn, he put his hands on my cart, where my baby was innocently sleeping. He stepped between me and my girl and began moving her AWAY from me, so he could squeeze in and get his box of cereal.

Cue new mama syndrome.

I REALLY didn’t care if he was a big, baldheaded, tatooed biker man who could squash me with his pinky.

Dude was in T-r-o-u-b-l-e.

I pulled my baby back, looked up (way up) at him and said, “You do NOT want to do that.” Then, more politely, “Let me go ahead and get out of your way.”

I was furious. I had no fear. Do NOT get between this mama and her baby.

Goofy story. Important point.

Sometimes it’s ok to be angry.

Our issues, our junk, our baggage all drive a wedge between us and our children. Between us and God.

When we see our children in danger or afraid, we transform. We have no fear, no limits. We feel invincible and ready to crush anything that gets in our way. The love within us empowers us to fight what is in front of us. Without hesitation.

Part of our job as mothers is to train our children; to build their character. But the other part of our job is to train ourselves; to build our character. We must intentionally name, face, and take down those things in us that would pull us away from a life lived radically for God. We must tear down the idols.

Because there’s also good chance that our junk will be our kids junk. Our issues unresolved will trickle down into our children’s lives and hold them back from fully pursuing Him.

That makes me furious. Passionate.

So if I have to get up at 5:30am to fall at the feet of Jesus and let Him scrape off my rough edges, if I need to take the Light of His Word into my deepest darkest places, if I need to surrender my dreams for His, if I need to ask Him to use the hammer and chisel on my heart… bring it.

I will let nothing – not my past, not my failures, not my insecurity, not my pride, not my fears, not my ambition, not my condemnation, not my guilt – I will let nothing come between me and Him; between me and them. Between Him and them.

They are worth it. He is worth it.

What in your life that needs to go? Name it and take it down.

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One of my goals this year was to become a radically thankful woman. I know in my heart that thankfulness is key to true joy in this life. I know that I could truly experience the fullness of life when my heart chose to purposefully focus on the good. I know my life could bring honor and praise to my Creator, and attract a watching world around me, when I was thankful and did not take for granted the precious gift of this life. This is my quest.

And yet so often, I falter in depression. I stumble into focusing on my little daily troubles – the ever growing laundry pile, the messy toys thrown here and there, and the financial struggles of staying within our budget. I loss sight of the good…I loss sight of the beauty all around me.

Since meeting Ann Voskamp at the Relevant Conference this last month, I have been challenged again and again by her life and witness. Her mission has been to list out one thousand gifts – watching, recording, and naming all the sweet little gifts that God bestows each and every day that we so often pass by without a second thought. She has desired to see and savor every moment. It is a list of one thousand gifts. Not what she wants. But what she has.

“I don’t need more time to breath so that I may experience more locales, possess more, accomplish more. Because wonder really could be here – for the seeing eye.”

I have witnessed her passion and I can see the way it has changed her life. By focusing on every little gift, through the thick and thin, she radiates such true joy that speaks clearly through her speaking and writing. I am eager to follow in her example. She has now surpassed one thousand and is into the second thousand, but she continues to write, and observe each and every day, what sweetness the daily grace that God supplies. Observing every time God whispers “I love you” in the here and now.

I started my very own gratitude journal earlier this year, but have strayed. This month I am starting anew. I have my little notebook. I keep it with me throughout the day. I jot down little gifts here and there. And my life is already beginning to be transformed. Praise is what I was made for!

“The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience. The joy wonder could be here! Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be – unbelievably – possible! The only place we need see before we die is this place of seeing God, here and now.”

My goal is to record 1000 gifts over a period of 6 months – which equals out to recording 5 gifts per day. I know as I get going, and I pray God transforms my eyes to see the beauty all around me, that I will quickly surpass this goal as I get enraptured by these gifts. I am joining the Gratitude Community and will be sharing my gifts via twitter and collectively here every month during my monthly family journal. Will you join me?

Ann shares in her amazing book, One Thousand Gifts, (coming in January) that the last thing Jesus did before facing His death was sitting down, breaking bread, and giving thanks (Luke 22:19). In the Greek, it is eucharisteo. It means thanksgiving. At its root it means grace and its derivative is joy. This deep joy is found only at the eucharisteo – the table of thanksgiving. We start our week at the table of thanksgiving and communion at church. We take bread every day. These are moments and opportunities that Jesus intended for us to give thanks. The act of eucharisteo – thanksgiving- always proceeds the miracle (John 11:41). It is the central symbol of Christianity. True wellness and completeness is promised to the one who gives thanks (Luke 17:17-19).

We will enter into the full life when we habitually practice and learn the art of giving thanks. It is a hunt – a journey – a discipline. But this is where true contentment is found.

“The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live..He has penetrated the whole mystery of life: giving thanks for everything.” - Albert Schweitzer

And thus I begin…

#1 – The sweet moments in the early morning reading the Word with my husband
#2 – The delight of cuddling in his strong arms
#4 – A warm house that shelters from the storms outside
#6 – The sweet joys of smothering my little ones with kisses
#8 – Talking until I fade into oblivion
#10 – The glorious ability to read and enter so many different worlds
#16 – Meeting new people and new friendships sprouting
#18 – Two freezers full of food
#25 – The first “please” that comes from my little boy’s mouth learning his manners
#26 – The precious “I love you, Mommy” initiated by my girl

I started on November 1st and have already surpassed 100 gifts. There is so much to be thankful for when we slow down, stop, and simply observe. It is beautiful!

The quotes above are all taken from Ann’s book, One Thousand Gifts, a book that I highly recommend, one that is transforming my life. I was blessed to receive a digital copy as an attendee at the Relevant Conference. It is set to be released in January 2011, so add it to your wish list!

This post is brought to you by monthly contributor, Vina Barham.

As mothers, we look after our husband and children’s well being on a daily basis. And quite often, we’re guilty of forgetting to tend to our own. We’re quite capable of going without for a long period of time and running on reserves until crankiness and all sorts of foul mood start to seep in.

I for one, sometimes forget to eat lunch. Seriously, right? How in the world does one forget to eat lunch? I mean, sometimes I snack all day but there are days when I suddenly notice how light-headed I’m feeling. And that a simple remedy would be to eat something! Or perhaps we go for days without taking a break for ourselves. Or go for an entire day without taking time for ourselves to recharge.

But it is exactly that we are the nurturers and keepers of our family’s well-being that we need to be vigilant about taking care of ourselves. We can’t give what we do not have. We are called to serve out of fullness and wellness, not out of a sense of obligation and martyr-like service.

Here are some ways I’ve found helpful in making sure I am able to take care of myself:

• Schedule a Time Out For Yourself. I am an introvert. And I’ve realized that I need half a day to myself during the week if I am going to thrive as a work-at-home mom. Before, our weekends were mostly family-time and were filled with social events. But we’ve worked it out so my husband takes my daughter out for a chunk of time in the weekend and I get to do whatever fills me up and breathes me Life. And it’s been a guaranteed refreshment for my soul. I’m then ready to start the week with a full cup.

• Write a Mommy Time Out Menu. The very first day that my husband took our daughter out for a daddy date and I had blocks of free time on my hands, I honestly did not know what to do with myself. Although I badly needed recharging, I was not used to spending so much time just for me. Since then, I’ve made a list of Mommy Time Out Menu in which I write a list of things that I know would recharge me back to Life. Make sure that you dig deep in the Word of God as your number one priority on this list. Remember…a true woman is tethered to the Word. (Thanks to Lisa from The Well Grounded Life! for the idea!)

• Incorporate Quick Life-Giving Remedies in Your Schedule. Read the Bible. A daily devotional. Get fresh air everyday. Go out for a walk as often as you can. Bring nature in your house. Talk with your girlfriends. Walk barefoot. Pray. Read. Listen to music. Or an inspiring podcast. Smile. Take a bath. Put on clothes that bring out the best in you. Wear your hair down (or put it up!). Hug your spouse. The list can go on.

• Figure Out How to Do What You Love at Home with Your Family. I love to dance, read, and go out for a walk or a run. I make every effort to do these things with my daughter (and this can apply to our spouses too!),  in order that I am able to share my passions with her and she gets to see me do things that I’m really good at, things that make me come alive, things that help me feel the pleasure of God. If what you love seems incompatible with your life at home, think again. You might just find the best absolute bonding moment with your children when you share your passions with them.

• Ask for help. If your day is starting to go really bad and you are in dire need for a break, ask for help. Tell your spouse. Ask your relatives or friends. Tell a trusted friend. Find a way to get the help you need. It’s not a sign of failure. It’s a sign of being human.

• Practice gratitude, regardless of the situation. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of perspective. And giving thanks in all things is a practice in acceptance. Some people call it living in the moment, but on a much deeper level, it’s contentment fleshed out. Sometimes, I really feel the drudgery of the day to day tasks of what I do. And it is in that moment when I most need to practice gratitude. Because it is then that I am able to open up to new possibilities and new way of doing things. In accepting what is, I can then make space for the change that I need to happen.

What about you? Any other ideas to add to this list? I would love to hear how you take care of yourself. You need it, mama!

We had an absolute blast at True Woman ’10 this past weekend in Fort Worth, Texas! We were challenged again and again by the beautiful high calling and design that God has for womanhood right alongside 3,800 other women attending. I was blessed to meet 7 lovely blog readers as well at the event. How fun! We helped volunteer at the event by running cash registers in the resource center. My sisters and I had so much fun meeting so many ladies and getting numerous, “Are you sisters?” inquiries. Apparently we look a lot alike. I highly recommend you check out all the sessions, which are available to download from the three conferences held this year. These messages will surely impact you and help build your marriages, strengthen your calling, and give you hope and vision for the future. I just wanted to highlight the main points of the conference that stood out to me.

Thursday night started with a powerful call to watch out for worldliness in our lives by Crawford Loritts from 1 John 2:15. He asked the question, “Aren’t you tired of the world defining us?” As women, we have been defined by outside sources for far too long. We find our satisfaction, our value, and position in what the world calls beauty, success, and the like. Crawford challenged us to see the world for what it really is. Worldiness is the celebration of self. It elevates me. Self-idolization. Don’t worship the world! This pursuing love belongs only to God. This is a fallen world with its system and will not bring fulfillment. He gave three challenging questions to help evaluate the things of this world.

1. The motive question: Why do I want this?
2. The worship question: Does what I want consume, control, or change me?
3. The purity question: Am I clean? Is my heart contaminated?

“You cannot be God’s true woman, without first being God’s.”

Nancy Leigh Demoss brought the next session with evaluating the question: What is a true woman? from Titus 2. I love this quote: “A true woman is tethered to the Word of God. Sound doctrine is the solution for the chaos of this world.” She is one who heeds the Word of God and her calling to love her husband, love her children, being devoted to her domain in the home, and seeking to mentor those younger than herself. It truly matters because if we do not follow God’s plan for womanhood, then we risk the word of God being reviled (Titus 2:5), the enemy will have something to slander us with (2:8), and we will not adorn the doctrine of God our Savior (v. 10). She left us with this question: Does your life adorn the gospel? Are you displaying a redeemed life so others can believe in a Redeemer?

I was struck by the challenge by many speakers throughout the conference by the important of God’s Word in our lives. We do not prioritize it enough. If we truly want to be women of God, women of influence, we must be anchored in the Word. Kay Arthur challenged us so profoundly: “What is your influence dear sisters? Is it for good, evil or nothing? Neutral is sin.” It is important for us to see if we just choose to not engage, not fight for truth, but rather sit back and go with the flow, we are walking in sin.

We must dig deep roots into His Scriptures. We must embrace God’s lifeline. It cannot be neglected. Even in the midst of busy motherhood, we must find God and moments of prayer in the midst of our day. Two way conversations should always be happening – between you and your children, and between you and God. While washing the dishes, thank the Lord that He is going to cleanse the heart’s of your children.

The final challenge that stood out to me was presented by Pastor James McDonald in his session on Suffering and Trials from James 1:1-5. He compared the difference between happiness and joy. “Joy is a supernatural God-given delight in the Person of God—who He is, in His attributes.” “A thimble full of joy will obliterate what the world calls happiness for a lifetime.” He opened my eyes to see the true meaning of enduring under trials. The Greek word for endure is hupomone: to remain under.

“But let endurance [perseverance, steadfastness, patience—let hupomone] have its perfect result so that you may be perfect and complete [check that out], lacking nothing.”(James 1:5) Hupomone is the funnel through which all Christian virtue flows. There will be no true women without hupomone. If every time trials come we lash out, bail, complain, despair and fold, God’s purpose is not accomplished. Some of us have been going round and round the same trial, not for weeks and months, but for years and decades because we haven’t learned what it is to quiet our hearts and to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand.”

By remaining under, rather than folding, running, or complaining, we be participants in displaying the superiority of Christ to a lost and helpless world.

“The reason I get to draw another breath, the reason why you and I are here, is so that we can display the superiority of the life lived in God. That’s why Christians get cancer. That’s why Christians have prodigals. That’s why Christians go through painful financial times.”

Overall, my heart was stirred, challenged, and blessed, and I have much to ponder. I pray you would take advantage of these sessions by listening or reading them, and allow God to work and change you as well into a True Woman!

Listen to the True Woman sessions here.

Photo Credit

This post is written by contributing writer, Kat.

A few months ago I had one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days that all moms have every once in awhile.

Sometimes every two or three times in awhile.

After finally putting the kids to bed, with a deep sigh felt through the ages, I buried my head in my husband’s chest and in true Anne of Green Gables fashion, I proceeded to pour out my frustration and deep despair at what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day it was and what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mom I was.

I mentally calculated the future therapy bill my kids would require after our rotten day.

Finally, in an expression of true blogger angst, I said, “…and what the WORLD am I doing writing a blog about motherhood?!!! I’m a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mom!!”

But I’m not dramatic. Obviously.

Yet my wonderfully patient, wise husband gently replied, “Sweetie, it’s not about the mom you were today. It’s about the mom you’re FIGHTING to be. And you? You’re FIGHTING to be a great mom…”

His words of comfort silenced me.

Friends, we all have bad days. Sometimes we have bad weeks. Maybe you’ve had bad years. But those are the past. We can learn from them, but they DO NOT define us.

Our mistakes are part of our journey. They are NOT our definition.

In light of the magnificent purpose to which we have been called, we cannot waste time nurturing our regrets. They require too much of us.

We can learn from our bad days, our mistakes and then we must lay them down, leave them behind and fight on.

Photo Credit

This post is written by contributing writer, Kat. Check out Kat’s new free e-book Mission Statements for Moms.

One of my goals for this year is to become a more patient mother. No matter where I fall on the patience spectrum, I simply want to be more patient than I currently am. One tool that has been ridiculously helpful for me on this journey is the ever popular and exciting….wait for it….

Scripture Memorization!

Don’t click away just yet. I know it’s daunting, sounds far too much like ‘work’ and kind of makes your eyes roll up, but it’s so incredible how much truth is wrapped up in every little section of scripture. It’s like an onion. As I read, I learn one layer, as I memorize, I understand an even deeper layer and as I walk it out in my daily life, I uncover still more layers.

Some people memorize mountains of scripture every year. I’m not one of them. I’m more on the one verse a month track. But even at my turtles pave, it has proven to be water for my weary mommy soul. Here are a few things that have helped me.

3 Tips for Verse Memorization

1. Keep it simple.
Pick one verse and stick with it for awhile. Let it really sink in. Don’t just remember the word order, but live it out and absorb the truth into your every day actions.

My method has simply been to write down the verse each morning during my quiet time. I write the same verse every day for as long as it takes to feel like it’s grafted into my heart. It might be a week or it might be a month.

2. Put it where you’ll see it often.
That might be on an index card by your sink, in the car or in your Bible. Or you might laminate it and put it in your shower or on your mirror.

Just be sure to review it throughout the day.

3. Graft it into your life.
When situations arise in your home that the verse addresses, don’t be afraid to share that with your children. Tell them what you’re learning and how God is using that verse to change you. Not only will it keep you accountable, but it will also inspire them to memorize verses.

Lessons I’ve Learned about Patience

Here are two verses I’ve been working on lately and a few things they’ve been teaching me as I pour over them:

“…take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires.” James 1:19-20

Our children deserve our listening ear. Even when they’ve been talking all. day. long. Even when it takes them eight minutes to explain why they haven’t brushed their teeth yet. Even when they’ve told 18,329,047 nonsensical knock knock jokes in the last 45 minutes.

Listening is more than just waiting for our turn to speak.

Our children deserve our patience. Even when we don’t feel that we have any left. We do.

Responding in anger may affect their actions for the moment, but responding in love will affect their hearts for a lifetime.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

I don’t know about you, but I let unwholesome words come out of my mouth far too often. They’re not curse words or insults, but they are words spoken more out of frustration than love. The words that proceed from my mouth can be building blocks or daggers. It’s better for me to close my mouth and not speak than let words, unfiltered by love, escape.

We have a phrase we use around our house, “Leave it better than you found it.” Normally, it is just used as a reminder to clean up after ourselves, but I also pray that it is true of our interactions with others. May each person we encounter, whether it’s our children, our spouse, a friend or a stranger, leave our presence better than we found them.

More encouraged. More loved. More hopeful.

Memorizing these two verses has deeply impacted how I choose to respond to those I encounter everyday. And to think, there are 31,100 other verses in the Bible yet to change me.

I guess I have some work to do.

Do you memorize scripture regularly? What are some tips you can share?

Pure exhaustion. That would describe me right now. Having found little sleep last night leaves me feeling pretty drained. Fear has been attacking me lately at the thought of trying to sleep. I was up folding laundry, reading, and simply crying out to the Lord. Can I possibly joyfully serve my family today when I have no brain? Where can I find the strength necessary to just focus on today, rather than worrying about tomorrow?

What does it mean to be content during these challenges seasons?

I love the way Nancy Twigg states it, “Contentment is being able to come to terms with where you are and what’s going on in your life, even if it’s not what you would have chosen for yourself. True contentment is not having everything you want, but learning to appreciate everything you have.” (From Clutter to Clarity)

Being content means being at peace with your circumstances. It means laying down your desires, and finding joy in all that the Lord has given. It is easy to let the mind wonder to unhealthy thoughts of comparison, asking the what-if’s and if-only’s, but being content clarifies life by keeping us focused on reality.

Contentment is possible when I focus on cultivating a thankful heart. When I fill my mind with a verbal reminder of all the sweet gifts he has poured out on my life – my husband, children, home, church family, etc – contentment is a companion of thankfulness. It requires taking control of my thoughts. It is not easy. When you are weary and tired, the mind does not function so easily and can wander back to thoughts of self-pity. There is no fruit in these thoughts. It is a daily battle for me right now. Self-pity is a work of the enemy to destroy our productivity and service to the Kingdom.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:1-3)

Let’s take control of our thoughts, dear sisters. Let us stand with Paul in declaring, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13). Let us put our hope in God who never changes, rather than the fluctuating circumstances around us. Even if nothing else may be going right, I can be confident that God is with me. Let’s discover together that God is enough through every season of life! I am speaking out loud to my soul today, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? Why are you in disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him. The help of my countenance and my God.” (Psalms 43:5)

My sisters, mother, and I will be heading to Fort Worth, Texas on October 14-16 for True Woman 2010! We would love for any of you lovely ladies to join us as we are challenged in understanding our position and value in Christ. I am eager to hear the truth shared from Nancy Leigh Demoss, Mary Kassian, Kay Arthur and others about how we can live out our lives, homes, and ministries for the glory of God.

I wanted to use this opportunity to extend an invitation to you. Join our group and save $20 per ticket. If you are attending the conference, you can join our group! Simply use our group code: TGCC at checkout. Learn more through the promotional video here:

True Woman is also coming to Indianapolis, Indiana on September 23-25! I’d love to hear from you if you are able to attend, join our group, and meet up!