When You Are Weary and Ready to Scream

I lay awake as the hours slipped by. Sleepytime tea, melatonin, protein snack, reading. This cycle repeats trying to get my mind to turn off and let go into sleep. As darkness surrounds me and others sleep soundly nearby, I battle doubt, fear, desperation. Darkness brings such lies and fearful thoughts into my mind. I have been dealing with insomnia for nearly three years now. I don’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed the recommended eight hours of sleep, not from lack of desire or intentionality. I’ve tried nearly every natural remedy, suggestion, drug, or sleep specialist. I know the feeling of desperate tears falling down my cheeks as I cry out for relief in these dark moments. Day by day, I struggle for strength to face the challenges and responsibilities of each day.

If you are in a place of desperation right now…struggling to trust the purpose and plan of our Lord…if your husband is out of work, and the finances are running dry. If you are sick and weary from a long term illness. If you just tired of holding down the fort and dealing with kids that are bickering and fighting hour after hour…I know the feeling.

In one of my moments of desperation, God spoke three little words of truth to my soul: “My daughter, I am the God of rest, comfort, and strength for you today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Simply embrace my rest today.”

He is the God of REST:

“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Ex. 33:14)

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken” (Psalms 63:1-2).

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30).

He is the God of COMFORT:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and God of all comfort. Who comforts us in all our affliction…for as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we may share abundantly in comfort too” (2 Cor. 1:3-5).

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loves us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say” (2 Thess 2:16-17).

“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem. You shall see, and your heart shall rejoice; your bones shall flourish like the grass; and the hand of the Lord shall be known… (Is. 66:13-14)”

As our loving Comforter, He stands by our side to minister soothing balm to our needs. He is my Comforter, providing everlasting comfort for my soul. He shares it abundantly. Under His wings my soul can find refuge and hope.

He is the God of STRENGTH:

“For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless towards him” (2 Chron. 16:9).

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength…they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Is. 40:28-31).

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Is. 41:10).

Dear sisters, He will kiss, bandage up your wounds, pick you up again and again and hold you in His arms and whisper words of love in your ears. Let go and rest in His arms. He brought you, O daughter, from the ends of the earth, from the farthest corners, from the depths of your sin, to be his own precious child. He will not cast you off but offers His very presence to be with you all the days of your life. He is my God! He is with me! He promises to uphold me with His very own arm – the strongest and most reliable arm available for me.

Don’t put your hope in health, sleep, the perfect job or circumstances; put your hope in the rock that cannot bend against the tide. The enemy who fights against you will be no more – he will perish forever. Our Lord holds your hand. He is the God of help and strength. Find your strength today by sitting at the Master’s feet, as strength is found in His fellowship.

I may struggle with this battle of insomnia for the rest of my life…only God knows. But I do know that He is a very present help in trouble and brings great good in my life through this trial. And my life is bringing glory to Him as I embrace the trial and seek to cling desperately to His hand and be faithful with the strength that He alone provides.

“The Lord is my portion, says my soul; therefore, I will hope in Him” (Lam. 3:24).

“Look around you and be distressed,

look within you and be depressed.

Look to Jesus, and be at rest.”

- Corrie ten Boom

{Photo Credit}

About Lindsay

Lindsay Edmonds is first a lover of Jesus, wife, mother of three, homemaker, and writer. She is the editor of Passionate Homemaking since its beginning five years ago. She loves inspiring women around the world toward simple, natural, and intentional living for the glory of God.

81 Responses to When You Are Weary and Ready to Scream

  1. Tara November 11, 2012 at 10:22 am #

    Lindsay, your blog is blessing me SO much! I wanted to share with you a simple remedy that has worked for many, including myself. I’m not saying anyone HAS to do this (or that this is the only way to cure insomnia), but it can’t hurt to try and see how you feel. This is a simple suggestion, take it or leave it…

    Try not eating heavy protein after 6:00pm; focus consuming your densest proteins during breakfast and lunch. Taper off to carbs later in the day and evening. I realize that goes against conventional “wisdom,” but I’ve read books that suggest protein is a macronutrient that is designed to rev us up and give us energy to perform our tasks throughout the day and keep our brains alert; it boosts DOPAMINE.

    However, at night, what the brain needs to get and stay calm (and go to sleep!) is SEROTONIN, which can be had from simple carbohydrates. A common myth (often pushed by fitness gurus selling something) is that carbs at night make you gain weight, but when you’re eating intentionally (concentrating heavy proteins during the day) and tapering off, it changes your brain chemistry so you DO NOT gain weight; you actually become more balanced in mind and body. At least, this is what I’ve found. The traditional high-carb breakfast and high-protein dinner is the reverse of what some of us need.

    I didn’t believe it until I tried it, but it worked, sister. The key is to save your high-carb snacks (and carbs alone) for nighttime and weekends, when you want to relax and bond with loved ones. Try eating simple pasta, rice or a potato for dinner, or your favorite cookies at night instead of a protein bar.

    God created serotonin to help us relax and rest!

  2. Kelly M October 9, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

    I just stumbled upon your blog and bookmarked it, well God knew becouse I read this post and it helpd me so much! I am a pastors wife and stay at home mom of 4 and I needed to read these scriptures of ecourgement. Thank you.

    p.s. sometimes sleep issue come from hormonal deficiencies, I know a little about that if you would like to email me.

    Kelly M

  3. Karen October 5, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    Wonderful post. Thank you for your openness. I always love to read your posts especially the ones on family life. You may never know just how many lives you are touching for Jesus. May you know the fullness of the Lord’s deliverance, even in this very night. I pray the scripture for you “I will lie down and sleep for you alone oh Lord make me to dwell in safety.”
    Blessings!

  4. Sheri October 2, 2012 at 6:19 pm #

    Hi Lindsay,

    I’ve been reading your blog since before Titus was born. I have been inspired, humbled, and challenged by your authenticity and humility and great faith. I came home this evening really struggling with some circumstances in life, crying out to God, then I turned on my computer and began to catch up on your blog. Although it’s not insomnia so much that is my struggle, your words were a word from the Lord and I thank you for being willing to be a beautiful vessel that Christ uses for many purposes, even those you never know about. I felt God’s love for me as I read the scripture and the encouragement you put on the page. A heartfelt thank you, my sister in Christ. And I will pray these verses over your life tonight.

    • Jean Shaffer October 2, 2012 at 8:32 pm #

      My heart goes out to your insomnia, Lindsay. I had the same problem, for years. My Amish friend recommended this book which cured me. “Say Good Night to Insomnia” by Gregg D. Jacobs, PH.D. I bought it for a couple of dollars at Amazon.

  5. Dipti October 2, 2012 at 6:25 am #

    Hi, I know what the feeling is. Please hang in there and keep praying. I was troubled with insomnia too, when i got married and had to move to a new country. All my life, i always managed to keep myself busy until I could just drop and sleep. But the new place, new people and new life was too much of a change for me to take on, all at once. So, i recently tried homeopathy and it is working wonders on me. Its only been 15 days now and I can get atleast 5 hrs sleep every night without trouble. Just thought of sharing one more natural way that could help you.

    Love,
    Dipti

  6. Di September 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

    Thank you so much for this, Lindsay, and for speaking from your heart. My first baby is due in just over 2 weeks, and the cares of carrying this little one have been wearing me down–along with my propensity to try to single-handedly carry the weight of the world :) Thank you for this reminder of what is TRUE when life feels overwhelming. God used this post to provide rest, comfort, and strength for me.

  7. Rebecca September 28, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

    I stumbled upon this blog site while looking up something for a recipe. I love it! I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys 4 yrs. and 1 1/2.

    I know you said you tried everything for insomnia. My heart goes out to you. I have had terrible problems with it too. I now take valerian root tincture so I can taylor it to how much I need each night. Just a thought. It works really well for me. I know God will take care of us, but boy sleep can go a long way!!

  8. Jennifer September 27, 2012 at 2:22 am #

    Thank you! This was such an encouragement and blessed reminder. I loved this line: “[M]y life is bringing glory to Him as I embrace the trial and seek to cling desperately to His hand and be faithful with the strength that He alone provides.” For me, it’s been the lesson of this past year.

    Not to detract from the message, but the second quote is from Psalm 62, not 63.

  9. Julie September 26, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Lindsay, thank you for sharing your trial and the wisdom and comfort from the Word. This is a beautiful post! I am praying for you.

  10. Carol September 25, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    And let me guess… your husband was snoring soundly beside you! :)

  11. Michelle W September 25, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    Thank you for the encouragement! I think I got total of 3 hours of sleep last night….and every night. I pray God brings you sleep!

  12. Jess September 25, 2012 at 7:14 am #

    Lindsey. Last night I read your post and prayed fervently for you. The Lord chose to render me a night of sleeplessness. In our shared trial I continued to speak to the Lord, and this is for you:
    Mark 12:44. “For they put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had.”
    The Lord Jesus has noticed you… a widow of sleep…giving every last ounce of energy to your family, however meager it may seem to you. It is a rare gift, a precious perfume to Him. For “whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me.” Mark 9:37. Despite your impoverished body, you receive your children and husband, and vicariously your God, into your day. You bless our Lord in this. I praise God for allowing a sister to please Him so deeply…even in this generation. Holy hugs.

    • Lindsay September 25, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

      What sweet words! Thank you Jess!

  13. Koe September 25, 2012 at 4:10 am #

    I listen to audiobooks at night very softly on my mp3 player. Or the Bible being read. It keeps my mind off of any nagging thoughts and off the fact that I’m not sleeping. Finally after a while I get sleepy and can turn it off. This technique has made a big different for me. Thanks for your encouraging words!

  14. Andrea September 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Thank you for the verses. I

  15. Hannah September 23, 2012 at 1:34 pm #

    I too suffered a year long bout of serious insomnia. I finally over came this when I had my hormone levels checked and I was very low in progesterone. When it’s low you can’t relax. I was able to get this leveled out and I also take hylands calms for nervous tension and sleeplessness. So many women are suffering the same and thank you for reminding all of us where our focus should be!!

  16. Dawn September 23, 2012 at 8:03 am #

    Thank you!!! This is exactly what I needed to read at this exact moment. God is so good. Right now I am struggling desperately with an unknown illness that currently has me bed bound. I am unable to speak and have right sided paralysis. The doctors are stumped and needless to say I am feeling desperate and helpless. Thank you for the reminder to rest in the Lord. I am going to bookmark this post with all these wonderful scripture reminders of God’s goodness. thank you again for the reminder just when I needed it!!

  17. Courtney September 22, 2012 at 6:12 pm #

    Lindsay! What a moving blog post that was! In my past, I never slept well. As a child , I was plagued with nightmares and awful allergies. As I got older, those nightmares turned into anxiety. Now, after a lot of prayer, counseling, changing key things in my lifestyle, and just plain holding on, I am sleeping better than I ever have. One of the things God spoke to me is very similar to what he said to you – I am your rest, cast your cares and worries on me. The times I’d pray at 4am, crying out for rest…He heard me!

    I’ll be praying that the Father brings you to a place in Him that moves you to a better physical rest you have never experienced!

  18. Tera September 22, 2012 at 5:08 am #

    Thank you for this encouragement! Thank you for being so vulnerable and testifying to the sustaining power of Jesus. Ultimately The Lord is our portion, so I feel awkward in also offering this suggestion, but my naturopath gave me this for insomnia: http://www.amazon.com/Kavinace-60-capsules-by-Neuroscience/dp/B0025Z45NG and it has truly changed my life. The caveat is to use under physician’s care if nursing, but it has been amazing in my experience. Again, thank you for the reminder that we find refuge in Him first and above all circumstances and that we can take joy in the trial that molds us to His likeness. Those moments of intimacy with the Creator while crying out to Him moment by moment are so precious, and we can be thankful for the trials of life that keep us pinned to Him.

  19. Carolyn September 22, 2012 at 3:25 am #

    Green Smoothie Girl finally conquered her insomnia with Liquid Light “I was diagnosed with 20/20 vision when I was 40—that was the last degenerative condition to completely resolve. That and insomnia, which resolved when I started taking amazing Liquid Light (with fulvic acid complex)—love the minerals, the chelating ability, the detoxifying ability, the power in that product.” http://blog.greensmoothiegirl.com/2011/12/09/nutrition-is-usually-a-gradual-process-of-changes-and-improvement/

    Also:
    http://blog.greensmoothiegirl.com/:

    Kava is the most-studied as being efficacious for anxiety and insomnia. Kava affects a GABA-receptor-binding capacity and blocks norepinephrine uptake. One study in Germany found it to have effects equal to benzodiazepines, but without side effects.

    Other supplements include L-tryptophan, currently banned in the U.S. due to an incidence of contamination. But 5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HTP) might be more effective anyway, as it is apparently more bioavailable and doesn’t compete with other amino acids in the body.

    Its function is to increase beta-endorphins, your “feel-good” hormones. A typical dose is 200 mg per day, and this supplement can be found online or in health food stores.

  20. Sherrin September 22, 2012 at 2:10 am #

    I have found that my worst emotional times come when I can’t sleep and the devil seems to use that time to bring forward anything worrying. So I feel for you in experiencing this so much and am praying for God’s continuing strength and comfort.

  21. Melissa September 21, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    Thank you so much for sharing. I am in the midst of some health struggles and insomnia is one of the symptoms. This was very encouraging. God bless you.

  22. Christa September 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

    I think that this was meant for me today and at this very moment. You see, I suffer from anxiety attacks. I was just in the middle of one and when I experience my attacks I try to do something that relaxes me. One of the things that relaxes me is reading peoples blogs. I ran across this same blog earlier today and this post was not on it. But tonight when I went back to it there it was. Thank you so much for allowing God to speak through you to me. This was exactly what I needed to here in this very moment.

  23. Meghan September 21, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    I think God gave you this just for me today. It made me cry. I’m a single mom of two toddlers with my first full-time job (teaching special ed.), plus I have an hour commute each way, every day. I’m exhausted to the point that it is soul-crushing. I really needed to read this. Thank you.