I failed miserably in my mothering today. Everything from getting coats and shoes on, to going potty in underwear, to getting out of bed before the proper time. Each situation was responded to with an outburst of anger and frustration.
I experience guilt on many levels in my motherhood. I feel guilty when my house isn’t clean, organized, or I don’t have the energy to design all these glorious organizing tools (thanks Pinterest! 
. I feel like a failure when I don’t spend enough quality time with my children or waste too much time on my phone or computer browsing this and that. I feel guilty when we don’t do family devotions as if my children’s salvation was all dependent upon me. I feel like a terrible homemaker when I don’t get anything done on my to-do list. So in response to my guilt, I get frustrated and the cycle continues. It’s a dangerous pit of self focus that destroys my joy.
The only means through which we can find deliverance out of this battlefield of guilt, condemnation, and anger is through the power of the gospel. The only lasting freedom can come through acknowledging what Christ has done on my behalf.
We have to steep ourselves in the power of the gospel. We have to soak it in.
I have to remind myself that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Yes, you and I will surely fail. But we have a glorious Savior who bore our condemnation. He bore our guilt. It was nailed to the cross. So in our failure, we can have hope. Christ Jesus has replaced our sinful record with His perfect righteous record.
As Elyse Fitzpatrick says, “When you are tempted to slide down into a miry pit of self-condemnation, you can remember Jesus’ sinless life and the perfect record that is now yours. Yes, it’s true that you sin heinously and consistently, but you have a perfect record before God, the only one who opinion really matters.”
“Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. (Romans 3:24)”
You have a perfect record.
Colossians 1:16-17 says, “The Father…has qualified you [past tense; it's finished] to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us [past tense again; the deliverance is completed] from the domain of darkness and transferred us [past tense once more: the transferal is already concluded] to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have [present tense; this very moment we possess it] redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
My outbursts of anger were nailed to the cross before I even walked this earth. My fear of failure is a waste of my energy. He paid the greatest price for them. In order to experience true freedom from guilt, I must stop focusing on all that I need to do in order to become a better mother. I must first turn my gaze upon what He has already done for me.
The only way to become a better mom is to preach the gospel to myself every day. It’s not by behaving that makes me a better mom, it’s by believing- believing more deeply in what He has accomplished.
God doesn’t call me to be perfect. He calls me to embrace my standing before him, and to run in that freedom he has already granted to me! I am adored by Christ! I am redeemed! I am accepted!
Ultimately, when I enslave myself by guilt I am mocking what He did on the cross, I am disbelieving the grace and mercy purchased for me through his sinless life. This guilt is witness to the fact that I am depending upon my own strength. I am believing that my children will only grow, flourish, and follow Christ if I do this certain set of practices.
So when you are tempted to put another brick of guilt on yourself, may I encourage you to stop, and declare with me:
“Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak;
because Jesus won for me, I am free to lose;
because Jesus was someone, I am free to be no one;
because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary;
because Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail.” -Tullian Tchividjian
Praise God for the full and abundant life I have in Christ!
Jesus loves me just as much today as He did yesterday!
Many of these insights have been gleaned through Tullian’s powerful book, Jesus + Nothing = Everything.
Found your blog today and I love it! Enjoyed this post. Thanks for reminding me of these important truths as I strive to be the best mommy I can be for my 2 boys! I feel I fail so often. But these Scriptures are so uplifting!
Amazing how He directed me to your site as I was looking for Scripture to read during Holy Week, and I stubbled upon this entry, which I so sorely needed right now. Awesome! Thank you.
Thanks, Lindsey! This really ministered to me today:-) I just found your blog and it is such a blessing! Thank you for sharing your testimony – so wonderful to see how he is working in your life and using even the small details for His glory! Blessings you and your family!
I needed this today. I’m a new mom so anxious to get everything right! Ugh. what a terrible trap! Thank you for sharing.
Much needed words for days like today…and everyday. Poignant and true words. I so appreciate your sharing your mommy guilt so that we can all remember that we don’t stand condemned and that we need to preach that gospel to ourselves constantly.
Your post is so timely. It made me think of Matthew 6:33. If we seek Him first daily, all those other things will be added to you – including the things of motherhood. Thanks for a great post.
Rockin awesome
Thanks for sharing truth to encourage us Mommas!
I really needed this today! Thank you!
Lindsay,
Keep doing what you’re doing, girl. This post was beautifully written and is such a clear articulation of the Gospel. Powerful words. Your words have me thinking about some ways that the Lord wants me to alter my thinking. You talked about guilt being so self-focused that we lose our joy (maybe not those exact words). But, that pinpointed for me a joy-robber that I hadn’t been aware of. The Lord is using you!
Thank you. Your post today was just what I needed. Had a very guilt filled day.
Thanks for your honesty. Often in those moments of anger and guilt I think of specific Christian mums I know and think “they wouldn’t do/say this.” But this of course just makes me feel worse. Thank you for the reminder of the deep truth that is at the centre of being Christian – I AM a sinner and I AM forgiven in Jesus. Your blog is a great ministry.
Sounds like I am not the only one who needed desperately to hear this today. Thank you so much for reminding me that I have nothing to fear, and everything to gain … just by accepting.
Lindsay,
I have so appreciated your blog and learn so much from you each time I read. I have a few questions regarding older postings from you. I’m on your path to going green…and I cannot figure a few things out…
Can you tell me the difference between sucanat, rapdura, turbindao, organic cane sugar and organic brown sugar? What is better for us and why do you use what you use? Can you replace all sugars in any recipe with honey?
Also, the more I’ve looked into this- there is a debate on dairy and grain (whether or not we should eat, if it’s good for us or not, ect.) Any thoughts here?
Lastly, Where do you go for your bulk shopping trip at the beginning of the month? For example, do you go to a Wal-mart for toilet paper/staples…or do you go to a big natural food store for all those things. And if so, is it reasonable priced? Do you have a “staple and toiletries” grocery list that you use despite the season?
Even if you can’t answer all these questions in detail- I’d love any thoughts and your wisdom on the sweetners soon because I need to do some baking!
Thanks for you heart!
Katie
Here is a link about Natural Sweetners: http://www.spain-in-iowa.com/2011/12/a-simple-introduction-to-natural-sweeteners-and-how-to-use-them/
Here’s an other one: http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2008/12/guide-to-natural-sweeteners_08.html
For sugars, we use sucanat, maple syrup and honey in our home. I use sucanat for my baking and use our honey raw in oatmeal and tea and such to protect the nutritional value. You can replace all sugars equally with sucanat/rapadura (As they are the same thing).
As to dairy and grain, I believe in all things in moderation is key. I think our bodies could easily do without grains especially if they are not prepared properly…but that can also lead to an expensive diet. So you have to just pray and use discernment as to what would be best for your family.
For bulk shopping, I buy most of these items through Amazon or Azure Standard. I only buy toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, soap, dish & hand soap, dishwashing & laundry detergent, so I keep these purchases really minimal. I don’t really use any other paper products (except for large hospitality events), so as to cut down on waste.
I keep coming back to these words. You have no idea how badly I needed them! Thank you again for writing them, and for being so willing to share the way the Lord is working in your heart and your life. I consider it a gift…one of my 1,000
Praise the Lord, Lacey!
Hi Lindsay,
How encouraging!
I needed to read those words sooo badly!
God bless you,
Ana
Thankyou so much for this post. I think we all need to know that we are not the only ones who feel this way at times…..as women we are so hard on our selves but, Jesus’ is the only opinion that counts ( like you said). I shared this post at a baby shower this weekend with a devo that i did and it was very encouraging to a lot of women. thank you again and God bless your sweet family!!
Beautiful, encouraging post, Lindsay. Thank you.
For some reason your updates go to my spam folder, so I just read this, this morning. The very morning I needed to hear it. Oh thank you for sharing. I woke up feeling very discouraged this morning, with a long lists of failures right before me. Thank you so much for the encouragement. In Christ-
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly! Your words are encouragement to everyone (including me!) who has felt the guilt of falling short. We really do stand perfect before God through Jesus Christ! Praise God!
Thank you so much for this post! I am a single mother and guilt is something I struggle with so often with raising my son. This was very inspirational for me and I am sure to come back to this post often!
Love it! Thanks!
This reminds me so much of a talk that was part of our church conference a few months ago. The link is below. Just a reminder that God loves us all, and loves our efforts, even though they fall short of perfection. Thank you!
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng