Also, I will say this. As my children have grown into their teens and young adults, more of my time is out of the home (mostly with them) since their changing needs and interests are expanding beyond the borders of the home. I would consider this to be a natural, healthy progression. Just my 2cents.

Maybe for you at this stage of life working is what you will need to do. But make a plan. Talk to your husband, make sure you are both on the same page. Plan to work, but put ALL your earnings towards your college debt. And once that debt is paid then plan to return home. Don’t get into the habit of relying on your income in order to get by.

For many families out there it’s just not feasible for only 1 parent to work. I have a dear friend who works full time as her church secretary. Her family would not make it if she didn’t have her job, and she is very thankful that she’s able to do something that is also a ministry. What she is doing IS taking care of her home, and that’s how it is for a lot of people. There is no shame in doing what is best for your family, and it sounds to me like what is best for your family is getting a job and paying off that debt. Once the debt is paid THEN you can focus on building up your home. There is a season for work, and it sounds like you’re in it.

I wholeheartedly believe and embrace the call to be a keeper of the home. My husband isn’t exactly on the same page. His dad was always after his mom to work and even though he’s not like that…well, here’s our situation.

I did not grow up in a Christian home (Catholic, but it was more of a “it’s what we do” kind of thing). I learned about salvation and accepted Christ at a friends leading when I was 16, but there were no Bible-believing churches in my area and this friend was a pen-pal, so I was a new believer without a lot of support. I didn’t understand God’s plan for women at that time, and was pushed very hard by every adult in my life to go to college and have a career. I never considered NOT going to college, the question was never “if” but “where”. I was not 18 yet and even though my parents pretty much made me go to college, neither of them did and they didn’t know much about the financial side of it, and at that time they were both caught up in their divorce so I didn’t get much help. In college I started to grow in my relationship with the Lord and I really began getting a sense of God’s plan for women, but I was already stuck in school and in debt. (Being so young, I didn’t realize how the student loans would be so crippling to my future…you sit down in the financial aid office, someone pushes some buttons and tells you the amount you can have…sign on the line and you’re done). When I wanted to get married, my family wasn’t supportive at first and only approved as long as I finished college. We were married three years before I eventually graduated. I was so unhappy in college, even though I’m intelligent and enjoy learning. I just thought it was what I had to do.

Then I became a mother, and everything in my heart fights against the idea of leaving home for any reason. How could I leave my babies to work at some job that would make me unhappy and take me out of my home?

We are doing just fine on my husband’s salary, but he says I have to work to pay for my share of student loan debt. (about $60,000, ugh, that makes me sick!). We are fortunate not to have many other debts (and the ones we have are small, and we’re focusing our efforts to eliminate them), and we tithe and give faithfully, but our financial situation is crippled by this student loan debt, on which we pay $1,000 a month-more than our rent and car payment combined! My husband tells me often that it’s not fair for him to have to take on my debt and that I need to work. Ideally, I’d make enough money to pay it all.

Ladies, this breaks my heart. I am very frugal and make sure we can live within our current means, and we have a happy, contented life. I have no desire to leave my home to work and I haven’t been able to find anything that will let me make some money from home, though I’m hoping to be able to care for another child when Bethany is a little older.

I hate this debt…it’s not what I wanted for my life and it’s such a horrible price to pay for something I didn’t even enjoy or benefit from. I’m not a career woman, nor will I ever be. And I feel that as long as I’m managing our home and finances and raising our children, I’m doing my part to contribute for my family, and my husband works to provide for us, and that should include our combined debt. We know better now and are saving as much money as we can to get rid of our debts, but in the meantime I am so sad every time he tells me that he wants me to find a job. I don’t get it…most men want their wives to be able to stay at home with the kids, right?

I didn’t mean to write a book here but I know that this is a place of like-minded women and I am really struggling, and just hoping that someone can help me muddle through this…

This shows me that no matter your season, whether single, your children or grown, or before having children, is that the home is still designed to be your first priority. It can be used for the furtherance of the gospel of Christ if it is wisely managed and prepared to be used by the Master. Whether or not children are in the picture, your home is your primary domain to protect, prepare and steward!