My Educational Journey - Part 2: College
building the family, family news, young ladies Add commentsThis is part 2 in a series delving into educational thoughts from my experiences. For part 1, visit here.
Thoughts on College
I received the similar question nearing the end of my high school years: “what are you planning on doing after high school?” Often times I was humiliated and almost ashamed to say that I wanted to be a wife and mother. Is this something to be ashamed of? Indeed no! I understand more fully now that it is a high calling, and yet requires a lot of skills! I do believe it is important to have skills that could earn a living if it were necessary, but it remains the husband’s responsibility to be the provider for the family. The Proverbs 31 woman had many skills she sought to use from her home to earn income. All young ladies should be cultivating these skills (sewing, teaching, etc). The ideas are endless.
After high school, I had a love for music (having studied piano for over 12 years & violin for 5 years), and thus wanted to pursue further education. As I was also teaching piano, I considered the great benefit it would have for my teaching. I took a year off before registering at a local college, and I absolutely loved it! It was so exciting and inspiring. It was exciting working for A’s in my classes. My teacher really liked me, and I loved finding favor in her sight! Seems rather humerous to those who have been public schooled, I would imagine. I just loved the challenge to prove myself!
Before the end of my first semester, I realized that I was already giving into many false deceptions that the world offers…the desire to have my own career and achieving success and position by my accomplishments. Not that having a career is bad, but this desire was consuming me. IT was all about ME! My passion for studying and establishing myself was becoming an idol in my life. Through much prayer, struggle and questioning, the Lord led me to drop out of school after completing my first semester. It was just in time for the week following this decision, Aaron asked me to marry him. SO I was all busy with wedding preparation! The Lord was sovereign through it all.
I began my piano teaching at sixteen years of age from my home, without a college degree, and still had an endless supply of teaching. I had completed an advanced piano syllabus course through private lessons and was able to become a certified piano instructor through this endeavor. I only advertised at the very beginning and from there on out it was word of mouth. I loved it! I could work from my home, make my own schedule and go from there.
Since dropping out of school, I have struggled on a few occasions with this decision. Partly due to my sinful tendencies to compare myself to others (one of my ongoing battles!), and desiring to have others think highly of me in my accomplishments. I have gone through this struggle again recently in fact. I wanted to go back to school because I felt incapable of teaching beyond a certain level. I felt stupid and worthless.
After taking my struggles to my husband again, he reminded me…God has placed me in a new season of life. I am a wife and mother. How would going to school help me in these roles? Did I consider that the enemy might be seeking to make me ineffective in my ministry as a homemaker by distracting and discouraging me with these thoughts? It was true. The enemy was seeking to pull me down in frustration and discouragement…taking my mind off living my life for others and focusing it on how the world views me. That is definitely not fruitful!
To be continued…
Related Posts
- Education - Part 3: Under Her Father’s Roof
- My Educational Journey - Part 1: Home Education
- The Centrality of the Home
- Simple Living - Part 2: The Pilgrim Mentality
Oh, it is so easy to fall into that trap of comparing ourselves to others, isn’t it?
I am on the opposite end of the spectrum.
I spent 8 years in college, pursuing one goal and another and another.
I am now a SAHM and having never been trained in that role, I struggle with many aspects of it.
I constantly think I am not a good enough mother, wife, housekeeper, etc. Maybe I should go back to nursing, make a good living, and put the kids in a Christian school. I do believe it is the enemy at work.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and vulnerabilites on this topic.
Wanting to serve one’s family is (absolutely) not a popular view in today’s culture.
FOr what it’s worth, I admire you.
Love this post!! As a Mama to five girls–so far– I can already feel the
pressure about life beyond their home school education.(And my oldest is
only 9) People have VERY strong opinions on what they think is the best
path for my daughters. Your post was very good at bringing it all into
perspective. Another great resource is the DVD–Return of the Daughters.
Thanks again– can’t wait for more.
Blessings~
Shelly
Thanks for this honest and encouraging post! I fight the same struggles… and it is such a great thing for you to be married to a man who has a Christ centered world view and who supports your spiritual grow! Blessings, Madeleine
This was interesting to read! As a long time reader but never before commenter, I felt compelled to leave my two cents.
I too wanted to be a mother and wife and was afraid to admit it while in college. The one time I did, my advisor (a woman) gasped and shook her head like I’d mentioned wanting to commit a crime.
Now that I do have a career, and I bring home more income than my husband, I am finding it SO difficult to be a good mother to our two adopted boys. I want to home-school them, and can’t. I want to explore and create with them, and can’t. I want to teach them to play music (piano, oboe, recorder, bassoon, trumpet, drums) and can’t. My “spare” time is very spare indeed.
I certainly don’t regret my education, and in fact relish it, but I do wish I didn’t HAVE to continue in my career path. Unlike you, I don’t find anything wrong with wanting to feel accomplished, but I want to feel the same way about being a mom and wife too…and I don’t.
Thankfully, my husband supports me emotionally, and with the children and the household equally. It is good to see him as a partner and an equal when it comes to raising our children and keeping our home, but I do sometimes wish I could be a SAHM.
When I was graduating from high school, I remember feeling that all I wanted was to be a wife and mother. I thought that I was the only one who had those feelings. I took the path that I felt was expected of me and went to college. I was not ready for it, and suffered many years of being out of God’s will because of how I allowed my experiences there to alter my life.
I am thankful that since that time I have accepted Jesus as my Lord. My husband works hard to take care of us, and we do without many things so that I can be with our children full time. It isn’t easy but it has been such a blessing. While moms that stay at home are sometimes looked down upon, I know it is what God wants for our family. As long as I am in His will, I don’t care how it looks to others.
And yes, Satan would love nothing better than to have us comparing ourselves with other moms. Just remember that when we do, we may not be seeing ALL there is to see. Just because someone seems to have it all, doesn’t mean that they necessarily do.