Passionate Homemaking

Lately, I have been going through a very chal­leng­ing season with my little one. It seems my milk pro­duc­tion has gone down sig­nif­i­cantly in the evening so as not to pro­vide her with enough to make it through the night. I have had nights of waking up at 1 pm, 4 pm…etc. Some evenings it has taken over two hours to get her to bed. What a dif­fi­cult feel­ing it is to not be able to supply her hunger needs. I won’t go into all the details…but I will tell you this.

I have learned that God’s mer­cies are new every morn­ing and for every little trial I must face in moth­er­hood. I have learned that moth­er­hood is the tool through which God is prun­ing and refin­ing my char­ac­ter during this season of my life. Why am I so quick to get frus­trated and worked up when my baby does not comply with my sched­ule? Why do I focus on the prob­lems instead of enjoy­ing each moment to trea­sure and nur­ture my baby and meet her need? Why am I so quick to doubt God’s care and love for me? I so quickly ana­lyze why in the world would she not go down at this time or with every little prob­lem in her sched­ule, I want to figure out the reason why! I have been ques­tion­ing God in this manner.

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world. ~William Ross Wallace

Nur­tur­ing and caring for my little one is my second most impor­tant pri­or­ity beyond serv­ing my hus­band; there­fore, I must not lose sight that with each day she grows older and my time invested today in her life with impact the tomorrow.

The Lord has changed my heart. He revealed to me my sin over this past week as I grew more and more frus­trated with Karis and her inabil­ity of going to sleep when I wanted her to. I have gotten angry, tear­ful, frus­trated. I real­ized I was only living accord­ing to my desire and miss­ing out on the invest­ment I could be making in my daughter’s life. He revealed my need for a heart and pri­or­ity shift. My desire grew as I started to pray for a love to nur­ture her even in the midst of these trying times…when I am losing sleep over it.

Instead of eval­u­at­ing every pos­si­ble reason for this mishap, I need to change my focus to trea­sur­ing those times of hold­ing her close and rock­ing her. I need to re-​evaluate my pri­or­i­ties and realign them accord­ing to God’s word. This is God’s per­fect design for me at this time and season in my life.

How often do I lose sight of the moment and yearn for the future? I think…it will be so much easier when she is older…when teething is past, etc. Each season will have its own trials; I must not lose sight of rejoic­ing and delight­ing in the moment! Each day with my little girl is a pres­ence gift! I must focus again with a spirit of thankfulness!

No more pity par­ties for me!

Psalm 121: I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come from?

“Precious Moments” at Art.com