Reflections from Our Homeschool Year

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We finished up our school year this week! What a joy it was to celebrate our final day of school with a Medieval feast. We have made a tradition of the last day of school being a celebratory feast where we make dinner loosely themed according to the historic time period we studied for the year. Its become a favorite annual memory. So in celebrating a fun year of studying the Middle Ages, we had a feast of roast chicken, eggs, salad, medieval gingerbread and pudding on trenchers (stale bread that they used as plates) with spoons and our fingers and goblets of grape juice/wine with daddy and mommy serving as the Lord and Lady of our castle! We took the opportunity to speak words of affirmation to the kids specifically addressing the progress we have seen in their lives and hearts this past school year, and then we toasted to their graduation into the next grade.

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We also visited a local elderly care facility with some fellow homeschool friends and shared various poems and verses the children memorized, along with instrumental pieces they had learned this past year. It was really sweet to love on the elderly while giving the kids a fun means of presenting their hard work in a more formal and yet less intimidating atmosphere. And of course, the elderly just loved interacting with the kids. I hope to make this a regular event – a great way to combine ministry with teaching the kids to speak/present before others.

IMG_3603 As we finished up the school year, I’ve been reflecting upon the struggles and successes of this past year,  our fourth year of homeschooling. I’m so thankful for God’s grace in giving us a fruitful and enjoyable year. It’s so easy to forget all the good because they often get drowned by the difficulties.

Our daily morning circle time, a short time set aside each morning for all of us to sit down together to pray, read living books together, and memorize beautiful things, was a delightful time. We’ve used this format for a few years now (see Cindy Rollins, Teaching from Rest by Sarah MacKenzie or Your Morning Basket podcast for more details). We were inspired by living books of characters from the Middle Ages. Our eyes were open to the needs of the world, by praying through 40 Days, 40 Bites: A Family Guide to Pray for the World. We were blessed to learn rich theology about God and the world through the beautiful resource, The Ology: Ancient Truths Made New by Marty Machowski. We loved learning character qualities in poems, songs, and stories through the excellent free resources at Character First Education.

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We adopted a weekly poetry tea time into our weekly routine. My kids fell in love with poetry and tea. A fabulous combination. (It all started with listening to this podcast of Julie Bogart on Read Aloud Revival). It was a fun opportunity for my daughter to practice her enthusiasm for decorating. Studying a famous selection of art work pared nicely with our poetry time as well.

We were amazed by the life of artist, Michelangelo, and his unique fascination of the human body, in his towering sculptures of David and Moses. We used the beautiful Art Portfolios by Simply Charlotte Mason. We read about and listened to classical composers, Brahms and Schubert (with the wonderful Opal Wheeler biographies).

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We established a good morning routine where personal devotions, chores, and independent school work (math and handwriting) had to be completed before 9:00am for a little prize (amazing how they can work when you reward them with a jelly bean!), and it became such a great habit and routine. We’re maintaining this rhythm year round because it has worked so well.

I am so thankful for the ability to educate our children at home, and that the Lord is always faithful to lead and guide us, even when I feel completely helpless and clueless how to train and disciple them, or how to best meet their needs and various learning styles. He is always near to hear my prayers. And all these successes are simply his merciful answers to those prayers. Homeschooling is truly delightful when I focus on all these sweet memories made together, seeing my children learn to read, hearing their thoughtful comments, and knowing that I get the privilege of learning all of this right at their side.

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I had many tearful days, struggling with one child’s ongoing battle with maintaining a joyful heart in school and chores and prayerfully laying this child before the Lord day in and day out, pleading that the Lord would change both our hearts and give wisdom and grace. There were many frustrating moments of repeatedly reminding of another child to stay focused and be attentive and diligent in their work, and encouraging the other to practice self-control when they are tempted to freak out at the first sign of difficulty or messiness. We have seen great progress in these areas, and God has been mercifully guiding me in ways only He can. I battled against many lies from the enemy that I wasn’t doing enough, that I can’t do this anymore, that so and so’s kids are so much smarter than mine, and on and on. The enemy is a deceiver, and we have to be active in speaking truth to counter his lies. He only wants to make me loose my joy and fruitfulness in the traps of comparison and feelings of failure.

A few lessons I’ve been learning this year:

1. Eliminate Until There is Peace

You can have a whole list of great books, activities, and amazing outings planned, but if there is no peace, there is no joy, and no lasting learning will take place. Nancy Kelly’s simply challenge to “keep cutting back until there is peace in your home” (quoted in this fabulous article), struck a cord in my heart that I won’t soon forget. I am an over zealous homeschool planner, so I love to pick the best from multiple different curriculums and make a HUGE book list and lengthy homeschool plan. I want my kids to experience all the best options, right?! But our schedule became a little over packed and over scheduled pretty fast. We had to let go of my unrealistic expectations. Less is more. (Another fabulous resource along these lines is Sarah Mackenzie’s Teaching from Rest – I’ve read it three times already!).

2. Stay Closer to Home

One of the things that was causing unrest in our home was an over scheduling of outside the home extra-curricular activities. I discovered through trial and error, that having to pack up the kids for activities (wonderful educational opportunities, no less!) is super stressful for me in this season of life. It feeds my temptation to burst out in frustration at my kids for the time and effort required, and thus damaging relationships. I also noticed a growing discontentment in the hearts of my children after all these fun activities (feeding expectations for more?). How could I guard against this?

I had to make a deliberate choice to stay closer to home for our well-being and to practice cultivating contentment. We set aside Fridays each week for the necessary grocery shopping trip (twice a month), and a monthly field trip and a monthly service opportunity (visiting elderly neighbors, serving a family in our church, etc), which sometimes fell on a different day of the week and we adjusted accordingly. There is real beauty and rest in just staying close to home. It fosters peace, consistent routines, and contentment.

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3. Pick Something and Stick With It

It’s so easy to pick one curriculum and then throw it out at the first sign of difficulty. But there is sweet reward when we persevere through the challenges and stay committed for the long haul. I am so guilty of this. I have used four different phonics curriculums, two different spelling programs, and four different math programs in the last four years! I’ve wasted a lot of money before the light bulb finally came on. So thankful for my patient husband. There is no perfect curriculum. Nothing out there is going to be perfectly fun and engaging all the time. I learned that it was time to make prayerful choices and determine to stick with it. There is grace to make changes, but there came a point for me personally that I needed to make a decision and be faithful and persevere. My kids need to learn this mutually. It is so good for our faith and character development.

It’s more important to remember that you can adapt the curriculum to your family’s needs, but its not necessary to throw it out altogether. You don’t have to be a curriculum slave either, thank goodness. It felt so good to see my daughter complete the All About Reading phonics curriculum this year. The fruit of making that necessary commitment. These thoughts have been instrumental in leading us to make the decision of using Heart of Dakota this upcoming school year, adapting to our needs, but then sticking with it for the long haul, Lord willing! I’m honestly really excited and at peace, not to mention all the time I’ve just freed up from piecing together my own perfect curriculum. ;)

It’s been a good year! Do you homeschool? What lessons have you gleaned this year?

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Designed to Laugh

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My hormones have been seemingly on strike these past weeks while my baby has been weaning, sleep lacking, my emotions creeping out of control, and my spirit has been tempted to wallow in self-pity, discouragement, and despair. Why is it so easy to loose my joy at the bad attitude of a child, or a seeming unproductive day where nothing was checked off my to-do list, or at the late hours required of my husband to get a business off the ground?

Because I keep forgetting what is true and real (Philippians 4:8), and not loving God with all my mind.

Our God is the author and creator of laughter. He rules in the heavens in perfect control of the future. He controls the striving of the wicked who arrogantly fight for their own glory and success. Psalms 2 reminds us of this truth. The nations are raging war against the Lord, and yet “the One who rules in heaven laughs, the Lord scoffs at them” (Psalms 2:4).

Our God sees and knows all, and yet He laughs.

I am His daughter, created and fashioned in His very image (Genesis 1:27). Laughter is a part of my design! One of the ways I can imitate God is by practicing and walking in a spirit of laughter. Laughter is a distinguishing mark of a strong godly woman.

Proverbs 31:10, 25 describes this woman. “Who can find a virtuous woman? She is more precious than rubies…She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”

She can laugh, because she is confident that God is fighting for her (Exodus 14:14).

She can laugh, because she has rejected fear, and has cast every care upon the God who desires to carry her burdens (2 Timothy 1:7, 1 Peter 5:7).

She can laugh, because she is confident of God’s control over all events and circumstances past, present, and future (Isaiah 14:26-27).

She can laugh, because she is confident of God’s everlasting and adoring love for her (Jeremiah 31:3).

She can face tomorrow with a smile, because she knows without doubt that her God and Father will always be working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28).

She can delight, because her future is secure. Her eternal future is being prepared for her. (Psalms 16:5, Psalms 23:6, Jeremiah 29:11, John 14:1-3, Philippians 3:20-21).

She can rejoice, because she will never face condemnation, and can boldly reject every lie, guilty fear, and condemning thought from the enemy (Romans 8:1, 33-34).

She can laugh, because she is assured that her God is always watching over her and His ears are ever attentive to her prayers (Psalms 34:16, Philippians 4:6-7).

She can smile, because she has chosen to turn every wandering or negative thought about herself, her God, or her circumstances and turned them rather towards what is true, real, right, pure and beautiful (Philippians 4:8-9).

She can laugh, because she has been given the gift and privilege of God’s peace and she has embraced it (John 14:27).

She can smile at the future, because her hope is anchored in Christ (Hebrews 6:19-20).

“For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening” (1 Peter 3:5-6).

In a recent sermon, our pastor, Matt Cunningham, shared the following challenge: “A Christian woman is not one who puts her hope in her husband, and she’s not one who puts her hope in getting her husband. She is not one who puts her hope in looks, but she’s one who puts her hope in the promises of God…[quotes Prov 31:25]..The future doesn’t make her fearful. The future doesn’t cause her to be afraid. She looks at the future not with anxiety. She looks at the future and she laughs at it. She trusts in God so much, her hope in God is so secure, that she looks at the future, the uncertainty of it, and she laughs at it. Now that is a strong woman! That is a woman who finds her hope and her identity in Jesus Christ alone. She looks away from the troubles and the obstacles of life. She focuses her attention on the sovereign power and love of God. She looks at the one who rules in the heavens and does whatever he pleases. Whose favor is towards her, whose favor is towards her family, and she laughs at the future. How God longs for these kinds of women to be in His church!”

Oh Lord, help this to be true of us, your daughters! May we be known as women of God who laugh at times to come because we are confident in our identity in Christ, and are resting in a firm and unshakeable knowledge of God’s control of all things, including each one of our children, every penny and possession, every moment of our future, every circumstance, and every success or failure.

What beautiful women we can and will be by the power of the Holy Spirit! Who knows how it may impact a watching world around us? I believe without a doubt that they will be attracted to Christ as they witness our joy and confidence in the Lord!

That is the kind of strong woman I want to be!

Footnote: One of the resources that has really helped me through this journey of overcoming fear and my identity struggles, teaching me instead to take my thoughts captive to the obedience to Christ, is Elizabeth George’s Loving God with All Your Mind. I highly recommend this book along with the study guide to take it to a deeper heart level. It really has been life-changing for me. Really useful book for a one-on-one accountability relationship or small group study. 

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Quick & Easy Gyros

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It’s been a beautiful spring around here with a few glorious days of summer peeping through the window with warm weather, roses and iris’ in bloom, and the craving for summer menu ideas, those quick and easy recipes when I don’t want to start sweating in the kitchen cooking over a stove. This adaption to my favorite gyros recipe makes preparation time super quick and simple. I can get this dinner made in 15 minutes! That’s my kind of meal. :) Not truly authentic gyros, but still super yummy and we all love these! It’s a great way to stretch a pound of hamburger, making it pretty frugal too.

SUBSTITUTIONS: If you are gluten free, or following Trim Healthy Mama, layer all the ingredients on a bed of lettuce or a low-carb tortilla instead to make an S meal. I’ve also used goat’s cheese instead of feta.

GYRO MEAT:

1 pound ground beef (preferably grass-fed for highest nutrient value, but I also use Zaycon Fresh ground beef, which are primarily grass-fed)
1 1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2-1 teaspoon pepper (season to your taste)

TOPPINGS:

1 cucumber, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
5-6 green onions, chopped
Plain feta cheese, crumbled
1 head of romaine lettuce, chopped
1-2 packs of Mediterranean flat bread or pita bread (We love Trader Joe’s whole wheat flat bread. At other stores, it is often labeled mediterranean greek flat bread.)
Ranch dressing (this replaces the traditional Tzatziki sauce which is a yogurt/cucumber dressing)

For low-carb or Trim Healthy Mama adaption, serve over a bed of lettuce or a low-carb tortilla!

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook ground beef in a medium frying pan until no longer pink. Crumble ground beef as it cooks. Drain grease if desired, and then add oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and pepper.
2. Prepare other toppings, by slicing or dicing as described.
3. Layer seasoned ground beef on each flat bread (or bed of lettuce, low carb tortilla), followed by feta, cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and drizzle ranch dressing over the top. Enjoy!

Serves 5-6 people.

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Three Years…A Little Update From Our Family to Yours

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Wow. Where do I begin? It had been an entire year and then some since I sat down and wrote words on this page. And then I didn’t feel ready yet, so it was saved in the drafts. I started it again last fall, and was all ready to publish, but then felt a check in my spirit once again. Now three years have passed. Three years of resting. Three years of stepping back. Three years of letting go of so many idols and strongholds in my heart, and seeing God move it and transform in ways no words can express. Of letting go and giving God freedom to prune. My eyes were opened to how I had tied so much of my identity into my blog and the approval received here and in my various ministries in our church body. Tis so sweet to see what God can do when you follow His lead in simply letting it all go completely without holding onto what might happen in the future. But it is now time for an update at the very least! :)

2013-2016 have included a new job for Aaron at a local web development firm. Then the courage gained to launch out again in starting his own business in the same field. He has now been running his own business for about one year. It included an awesome vacation with my entire side of the family to Mexico, and multiple trips to the Oregon coast and camping in between. Our little ones have turned 9, 7 & 4, and we have nearly completed another year of homeschooling with my Karis girl in 3rd grade, and my son Titus in 1st grade, and Eden joining in for the ride, and adopting a more flexible Charlotte Mason educational philosophy in our home. We love circle time, studying famous artists and composers, poetry tea times, and lots and lots of read alouds. We are coming up quickly upon our 10th anniversary (in May 2016), and we both turned 30 in the past year! It included finding true community in our church, with a godly mentorship and accountability relationship with another woman, meeting weekly and hashing through my strongholds of identity, anxiety, and performance mentality.

It included a difficult miscarriage in the Spring of 2014…where the physical issues carried on and on. My heart was stripped bare like it had never been done before. But God’s mercy is new every morning, and two more little feet were added to our numbers on March 2, 2015, with the arrival of Helen Shalom (“peaceful light bearer”). She is now one year old!

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These past years I have been experiencing more of God’s peace and trusting in Christ’s finished work on my behalf instead of putting my hope in my performance and striving for His approval through my perfectionistic tendencies.

A few of the lessons learned in brief (stated here for my own remembrance):

1. Never stop investing in your marriage. We are learning to think outside the box, finding creative things to do together on date nights on the town or at home.  But most of all, I’ve learned to stop trying to change my husband. That’s God’s job and not mine. With the embracing of that simple truth, I have found my love increase for this man and just enjoying him for who he is. It’s been beautiful and freeing!

2. Stop being a worrier and become a warrior for God instead. My soul has been meditating on Exodus 14:14 for many moons, “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at REST.”

3. Make community a priority. Getting in weekly accountability with other sisters in Christ has been incredibly fruitful. If you want to see growth and freedom, this is one of God’s means of grace.

4. Cease striving and know that He is God. He requires nothing, absolutely nothing, that I bring, but simple faith and believing that He made the perfect performance so that t I wouldn’t have to. Don’t forget the gospel and who you really are in Christ.

5. God makes no mistakes. Even in my past failures, suffering, and business disasters, God has made no mistakes. My life and story to date is not plan B. Even my shortcomings are a gift, pointing me to the strength that God uniquely supplies for me. He has only good in store for you (Jer 29:11). The pain that is right before you is part of the beautiful tapestry He is weaving of our lives.

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God is good.

I’ve been praying a lot about his blog for quite some time now. I have felt a longing in my heart to begin again off and on. But I kept waiting. I honestly don’t know what it will look like from here. So many interests and passions have changed or been tweaked in my life. I no longer soak my grains or am stickler for real food 100% of the time. I still love cooking healthy whole food meals from scratch…but its no longer my top priority. Relationships are far more important. Last year I applied myself to loosing my baby weight and adopted a Trim Healthy Mama lifestyle and really enjoyed that journey and found it effective. I have loosened up in the last few months after reaching my pre-prego weight, but still love experimenting with sugar free desserts! I just hope to post little snip-its here and there of our journey faithfully embracing this simple, ordinary life. I’m going to let if flow naturally as the Lord leads and hold passionately to my boundaries. Maybe a sprinkling of topics on homeschooling (since that takes up most of my life right now ;) , book reviews (since I’m still a huge reader!), sharing recommended resources (my pet peeve is being a researcher!), and simple healthy recipes and home routines. But there won’t be any set schedule. Not sure if there is anyone still listening, but I’ll be waiting on the Lord and see how He leads. :)

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Till We Meet Again…

I have been richly blessed by all the feedback and encouragement I have received since I wrote my announcement early in January about how God has been leading me to take a sabbatical from blogging for an undetermined amount of time. It was a great delight to re-share some of the TOP 10 posts that have been published here over the last five and half years, and to see many more comments come in from ladies blessed again by these words. I hope you were blessed and encouraged and I pray that God will continue to use these simple messy words shared here to bring glory to His name! Be assured that the blog isn’t going anywhere, so you will have full access to all the archives and recipes for your personal use. Please utilize them to your hearts content! I don’t know what the future holds for now, but I’m excited to see what is the next step in this journey that God is taking me on. I will be disabling the comments sometime this weekend. You will still be able to view old comments, we just will not be accepting new comments for the time being, as they require moderation. Thank you for understanding.

Thank you for sharing this space with me and for coming back again and again, and for sharing your life, your heart, your tears, and your encouragement. This has been an amazing experience and I have treasured every moment spent here! Till we meet again – whether here or in eternity! ;) May God richly bless and sustain you and may you strive each and every day to live your life with intentionality for His glory and the furtherance of His kingdom in whatever season of life He has you in! Know that I am here striving to be faithful right along side you though we may be worlds apart!

Pressing on to know the Lord,

Lindsay

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Can Natural Living Become an Idol?

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This post is the finale of our TOP 10 CELEBRATION here at Passionate Homemaking. This post received the most general comments over the last 5 years then any other post on the blog, so I thought it fitting to republish this article for you all.
Originally published on January 21, 2010.

Please note: I want to express my heart from the outset of this post to assure my readers that these are musings that the Lord has been working in my heart lately, and I felt compelled to share them with you. I in no way desire to condemn anyone, but my motivation in sharing is to challenge us all to guard our hearts in this matter.

I recently encountered two stories that have challenged me in the motivation and out workings of my pursuit of natural living. The first account began with a friend desiring to throw a baby shower for an expectant mother in her church. This friend was expecting her first little one. The hostess simply wanted to bless and encourage this new mother in her pursuit. When she asked for gift ideas, the new mother stated that she only wanted organic baby clothing, wooden natural toys, organic cloth diapers, and the like. Half of the guests could not afford these products. One lady missed the memo and came with a few plastic toys.

How do you think this made her hostess and guests feel?

The second account took place when I heard a couple share that they had not been tithing for several months and wanted to begin again. They had not been able to afford it. I knew that this family ate all organic and natural foods. This appeared like it could not be sacrificed.

What is more important?

I have had conversations with friends or family members on various occasions when I tried to persuade them of the health consequences or benefits of a certain product. What has resulted? Relationships have been hurt. I have left others feeling condemned or inadequate. Or at a shared meal gathering, when another mom instructs her son not to eat that food item because “it’s not food”, relationships are damaged because we exalt food over fellowship.

Do I consider myself superior to others because we have adopted a more natural lifestyle?

In the past I have skimped on hospitality because I did not want to spend the money to buy good quality food for my guests or when bringing a meal to another. I made the excuse that I couldn’t afford it. In all honesty, I wanted to keep the best of our budget for my family. This is not true generosity. True generosity takes place when I joyfully give the best that I can following the Scriptural command to do unto others as you would have them do to you (Matt. 7:12).

Where is my heart?

The apostle John’s last words in 1 John are, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts (1 John 5:21).” These last words are significant…He wants them to be remembered.

How often do I turn a good thing into a god thing?

As Tim Keller states in Counterfeit Gods, “Most people know you can make a god out of money. Most people know you can make a god out of sex. However, anything in life can serve as an idol, a God-alternative, a counterfeit god…What is an idol? It is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give.”

Natural living can become an idol when we willingly give our emotional and financial resources to achieve it.
Natural living can become an idol when we think that it can give us significance, security, safety and fulfillment.
Natural living can become an idol when we hoard the benefits and not freely offer it to others.

What is my motivation for eating healthy and living naturally? Because I have desired to be a good steward of creation and for the health and wholeness of our family.

Can preserving the safety of my family become an idol in my life? Yes!

When I give my money first towards the purchase of good healthy food prior to giving it back to the Lord in my worship of tithe, natural living has gone too far. When I am more concerned about the safety of my family to the extent that I sacrifice relationships, the service of my brothers and sisters, than natural living has become an idol.

Eating healthy will not guarantee my family a more peaceful longer life. It will not add a single day to my life than God has already determined. Only God knows the number of my days. (Psalms 139:16) He calls me to be faithful to care for my physical body, and this includes being wise in what I put into my body, knowing that it will affect my ability to serve the Lord; but when I raise that to a god-level, it is no longer a good thing. My security must only be found in Christ. He controls my family’s health and wellness.

Eating healthy and living naturally does not make me any more honorable in God’s eyes than any other. We are all in equal standing before Him.

Our first fruit of income should always go to tithe and not food. (Lev. 23:10; Numbers 28:26). Where your money is, there your heart will be also. (Matt. 6:19-21) If I put more money towards my health and wholeness before God and giving unto others, than that is where my treasure lies. It will burn up at the end.

Unity in the body is more important than the safety of our family. (Rom. 14:1-3; Psalms 133)

God calls me to be generous, not to hoard the good stuff for myself. Am I only concerned about my health and not the well-being of my friends, family, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? God loves a cheerful giver. I am challenged to serve the best to my guests as I possibly can. The more you give the less hold it has on your heart. (2 Cor. 8:9)

I have seen and confess to these evidences of idolatry in my heart. Am I implying that organic food, clothing, or wooden toys are bad? In no way. It is a matter of the heart. What is my motivation? Is that a God-glorifying motivation? My challenge to you all…let’s not raise being a good steward to a god position. Let’s not make others feel guilty, discouraged, or overwhelmed because they cannot afford the natural lifestyle or only in part. It’s about relationships. Let’s keep God first, love one another, and pursue giving generously to one another as we are able. Jesus commanded in Luke 10:27 states, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.” I hope you understand my heart in communicating this message. There is no condemnation here. This is just a challenge to go further up and further in in our pursuit of Christ Jesus with me.

“Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them.” - Romans 14:1-3

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Redeeming Childbirth Giveaway!

Screen Shot 2013-02-03 at 4.00.54 PMRedeeming Childbirth is a powerful new book by a long time friend and sweet sister in the Lord, Angie Tolpin. I have watched and taken part in this journey that Angie has taken in writing this book over the last year and I am so blessed to see the heart and love that she has poured out into this book. This book is a fresh new call to invite the presence of God into this intimate and beautiful process of childbirth. It is a challenge to let go of the debates, comparisons, and disunity among Christian women on the subject of childbirth how’s and where’s, and instead, fully embrace the beautiful design that God has for you, and realizing that He is the sustainer, deliverer, and only one that can truly support and carry us through, and ultimately redeem this process of childbirth.

He designed childbirth, its challenges, its pains, its processes, and He calls us to see the beauty and magnitude of how we can display and magnify His glory through every step of the journey. God desires to use it to draw our hearts more deeply into His presence and to prune and refine our character in ways that no other life experience can compare with. This book is full of biblical encouragement in preparing for childbirth and beyond, but also chock full of practical encouragement, from personal testimonies, making the birthing room a place of worship and Scripture meditation, understanding God’s true design in pain, dealing with fear, redeeming emergency situations, help for bed-rest situations, and so much more. She offers tons more free downloadable resources through her website, Redeeming Childbirth.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“It is not where the baby is born that marks a birth as redeemed. It is the act of surrendering our agendas to The Lord, seeking His will for our childbirth, and then experiencing His presence working in us, through us, and around us that makes it a redemptive milestone in one’s life.”

“…Once you choose to surrender fully under the headship of Christ, you begin living in the freedom of the grace that Jesus brings. You begin to view pain, not as a burden or a curse, but as beautiful. It is a beautiful pain because of the spiritual, mental, and emotional growth you will experience as you embrace it, in Christ who strengthens you.”

“Jesus is our deliverer in birth. He brings forth life. He chooses when that baby will be born; we know not the hour, only He does. He is the one we can choose to transfer our pain to, to let Him take it and carry us.”

There is so much hope in this book! I highly recommend it and believe passionately that every pregnant mother, and in fact, every woman of God, young and old, should read this book and begin to change our culture tide from women who only complain of the pains of pregnancy and spreading fear from horrible birth tales into a generation of women that choose instead to invite God in and proclaim how God met and redeemed them in childbirth in such a way that God is mightily glorified! Let us let go of our agendas and instead proclaim the excellencies of God’s amazing grace every step of the way. The birth room and our birth stories can be a powerful place and opportunity to be a shining light in a dark world! Who knows what God can do? Let’s not put Him into a box.

This book is available on Amazon for just $15, or through kindle for $6. Please order your copy today here.

For further encouragement and resources, check out the Redeeming Childbirth facebook page.

Thanks to Angie, we are giving away one copy today of Redeeming Childbirth to one beautiful woman!

 TO ENTER:

1. Visit Angie’s website, Redeeming Childbirth, and check out the vision for this book and the awesome resources she has available for you. Come back and share in a comment below why you would like to read this book.

Giveaway Closed.

AND THE WINNER IS…

Sarah O. (hitchedathenry@….): “I would LOVE to win this book. I am 27 weeks pregnant with our fourth child today. Even after all of these years, I struggle with such fear and feeligs of insecurity about labor and delivery. I have a feeling this book would be a huge encouragement to my heart.” 

I pray this book would be a great blessing to you Sarah! Congrats!

No purchase necessary to enter this giveaway.
Limited to US partipants only. 
Email subscribers: You must click through to this original post and leave a comment on the website in order to be entered in this giveaway. 

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Preparing My Heart for Motherhood

Originally published on July 18, 2011. Republished in light of our top 10 celebration on PH!

With each new little one that the Lord chose to bless us with, there is a certain amount of preparation and pruning that my heart must go through before being in a place to welcome them with open hands. I honestly go through serious withdraws as the last few weeks of pregnancy linger over me. Thoughts such as, “What am I doing? Am I ready for this? Number 3? Ahh!” Can I honestly be the godly joy-filled mother that I desire to be? Can I embrace this child with a heart of love and gratitude? How can I turn my eyes from the reality of the work ahead of me and truly embrace the change?

Take a Retreat.

I have found taking a personal retreat prior to having a new little one to be an invaluable exercise towards preparing my heart for this new stage in my journey of motherhood. Get away, spend time with the Lord, read His word, and pray. Pray for grace. I must acknowledge that this task is certainly beyond my ability. I cannot be a good mother on my own strength. I will stumble and fall…time and time again. I need to let go find grace in His arms.

Meditate on the Blessing of Children.

Jesus loved children. He welcomed them. He embraced them. (Matthew 18:2-6; Mark 9:37; Matthew 19:13-15). He promised in His word that they are a blessing, a heritage, a reward. They are His generous legacy chosen to be passed down through us. Children are a weapon – a tool entrusted into our hands to be prepared to wage war in the enemies camp. With the influence and power of God’s gift of children, no one can stand against us! (Psalms 127:3; Deut. 28:4).

Embrace the Change.

I believe it is important to realize and acknowledge that motherhood is hard work. It is work. And yet it is beautiful work. When God designed work back in the Garden, He designed that it was good. Work is a good thing. I like how Timothy Keller defines work as the art of bringing together the raw materials and forming it into something that flourishes, something that brings life to those around you. I love that! So for me as a mother, my work is the art of bringing together the raw materials in my home, food, children’s hearts and character, their body’s, and working them carefully, nuturingly, beautifully, so that my children, my husband, our home, and those God sends into our lives might truly flourish.

I need to embrace the fact that God’s grace is sufficient for the change, the tireless nights, the repeated needs and demands around me. His grace is mine! It has been fashioned for me before time began. It’s new every morning. The process of mothering is a sanctifying work. Change stretches and grows us drawing us nearer to our Lord. God is working in and through to for His good pleasure. And He promises to never leave or forsake you.

So recognize that it will be work, chose to embrace it, and the Lord will cause you to flourish. This is my work. Remember that this work is your worship.

Make a Thankfulness List.

Why not make a list of simple truths and reminders that you could post near your bed as gentle reminders for those late night feedings. They could be verses that relate specifically to you or to your baby. You are beautiful (I am fearfully and wonderfully made). You are loved! (You are loved with an everlasting love).

Passing on the Torch.

Recognize the high calling and mission you are about to embark on.

Psalms 78:1-7 gives us this commission:

O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth.

We will not hide them from their children;
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord,
his power, and the wonders he has done...
which he commanded our forefathers
to teach their children,

so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God

and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.

That is a beautiful calling!

Read a good book.

Before each birth, I try to read a good inspiring read about the calling of motherhood. Currently, I am reading A Mother’s Heart by Jean Fleming, and it has been so refreshing to my soul. If you cannot get to a book or desire something in addition to, be refreshed by Rachel Jankovic’s articles on Motherhood: Motherhood is a Calling and Motherhood as a Mission Field. Check out my list of favorite reads on motherhood for further recommendations.

Pray for your Baby.

It’s never too early to start praying for your baby. Oh, I forget this every day. So today, I am sitting here praying for this new little life in my womb. I am praying for a particular life verse or life hymn that might be a strong reminder for them through the thick and thin of life. We have chosen a life hymn for each of our children in the past and this serves as a gentle reminder to continue to sing these hymns over them. I am also re-printing out this helpful free 31 Days of Prayer for Your Children.

So my heart is in a state of rest in this moment as my soul is prepared for this new little life. I will chose to see the beauty and embrace it wholeheartedly, as this is the work assigned to me! It is a beautiful work and His strengthen is mine for each step of the way.

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Embracing the Pain & Letting Go of Fear in Childbirth

Originally posted on May 18, 2011. Republished as part of our top 10 celebration on PH!

In this day and age, childbearing is often considered a thing to be feared. There is this overarching anxiety that we won’t be able to manage the pain of it all. We fear the baby being too large, or too small. We fear losing control. My desire here is to stop this train of thought that birthing is a thing to fear, encourage us to step back, and reflect on the beauty of the birthing process.

Childbirth is certainly work, and the intensity of it has increased as a result of the fall (Genesis 3:16). But like any work, it is doable. God’s grace is extended to sustain us through it. What we often overlook is the fact that God created birth to be a beautiful process, as we embrace the work and strive to labor for His glory. He has created the female body to be able to give birth. We were designed to be life-givers. This is what you were created to do! God has specially designed this child, conceived in your womb, to be born into this world.

Please note, there can certainly be a place for interventions as we live in a fallen world and it may not go as naturally as desired, but ultimately if our heart is trusting in the Lord, it will be a beautiful experience,  and should not be a thing to be feared. If you had a rough first experience, may I encourage you that there is grace to cover your past experiences, grace to try again, and grace to trust the sovereignty of God with whatever the results.

Understanding the purpose of pain is essential for being able to conquer fear in our hearts.

Why Pain in Labor?

The quotes below are taken from the Christian Childbirth Handbook by Jennifer Vanderlaan:

Increases Endorphins = pain management

“Pain, by its very nature, is a call to action…Pain has a physiological purpose in childbirth. The increasing intensity of the pain or discomfort increase your body’s production of endorphins. Endorphins are natural opiates that are responsible for ‘runners high’. They are also produced during sexual intimacy. Endorphins are at peak levels near the end of the labor helping you manage the pain of the contractions.”

Increases prolactin = breastfeeding success

“What is even more amazing is the endorphins your body is producing in response to the pain of labor are preparing your body to care for your child. The high endorphin levels cause your body to increase prolactin levels. Prolactin is a hormone necessary to breastfeed.”

Pain = movement = proper alignment

“Another important reason for discomfort or pain during labor is the way you naturally move your body in response to pain. It is very difficult to hold still while in pain, which works just perfectly for labor since movement is necessary for your baby to properly align in your pelvis. Without proper alignment, either you or your baby could suffer damage. Pain serves as a method of protection against a bad birth position.”

Pain = dependence upon the Lord

God often uses pain as a means of drawing our attention off ourselves and on to Him. It is a beautiful process for a woman to see this pain as a means of helping her refocus her attention on her Savior, who is her provider and source of strength. Therefore, focusing on worship, Scripture and prayer during labor are appropriate responses to the process. I believe this is all a part of the sanctifying process of childbirth. Jesus promises the peace that passes all understanding. This does not mean a perfect pain-free labor, but rather the calmness to embrace God as your strength.

“Peace is letting go of control, and letting God lead you through labor…Only God knows to what extent you will need to work during labor. You may give birth painlessly, or you may struggle through many challenges. You are only in control of how you respond to labor. It is how you handle yourself, where you turn for strength, which is important. God will give you the strength to manage whatever labor suits his purpose.”

Tips for Decreasing Pain

  • Keep your bladder empty.
  • Stay upright during labor.
  • Keep moving! Changing positions regularly.
  • Learn as much about labor as possible. Understand the process and the way your body works.
  • Chose an birthing environment where you are comfortable, safe, and relaxed.
  • Chose only people to surround you that you are comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to all the in-laws.
  • Learn simple relaxation techniques: visualization, listening to music, relaxing each muscle in your body, deep breathing, and hydrotherapy. Practice these frequently before labor begins.
  • Keep your vocalization in labor low and deep. When we scream or yell in high pitched tones, this tightens the uterus. When we groan, we allow the cervix to open and relax.
  • Let go of fear. The more fear you have the more pain you will experience. Don’t hide it. Acknowledge it and turn to the Lord to help you with it.

Responding to Fear

It is important to first acknowledge your fear. We all have them. It is naturally a part of being human. But the important thing is to acknowledge and address your specific fears prior to labor. Labor is controlled by your sub-conscious mind, not your conscious mind. Fear in labor produces excess amounts of stress hormones in our body that can lock up your muscles and limit the supply of oxygen to your uterus and baby.

If you are experiencing fear, meditate upon Philippians 4:8 in the following manner (a valuable exercise offered in the Christian Childbirth Handbook):

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about these things.”

Write out your fear. My fear or concern is….

Now use the following questions to truly evaluate the source, motivation, and truth about your situation.

  1. What is true? (What is true about you and your situation?)
  2. What is noble? (How can you handle this situation in a noble way?)
  3. What is right? (Is there a righteous response to this fear?)
  4. What is pure? (How can you respond in a way to keep your heart devoted to God?)
  5. What is lovely? (How can this fear be worked for good?)
  6. What is admirable? (Who has overcome a similar fear: how did they do it?)
  7. What is excellent and praiseworthy? (How can you respond in a way that keeps you from sin and brings praise and glory to God?)

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (NLT)

Focus on the Blessings

One of the true blessings of labor is that God designed it to process naturally and slowly (in most cases, as some births do go extremely fast). It actually takes two weeks or longer to go through the process. Contractions gradually increase in duration and intensity rather than all at once. And God gives us total breaks of pain-free times in between contractions. These points of rest, though short, help you to breath, relax, take in fresh oxygen and energy, all of which are essential for you and your baby’s health and well being.

Focus on the new precious life that will soon be entering your arms. Focus on the beauty of new life that is being birthed from your womb. Treasure that moment.

When we let go and allow our body to flow with the contractions, we experience a unique empowerment that is hard to describe. When we focus our minds on embracing the pain, the pain somehow becomes less severe. When we get up, move, and allow our body to flow with the contractions, we embrace the design of our bodies.

For further encouragement, please read Spiritual Encouragement for Preparing & Giving Birth that highlights specific verses that are excellent for preparing your heart for labor.

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Homemade Natural Postpartum Care Kit

It is our final celebration week on Passionate Homemaking before we take a sabbatical for a period of time, so I thought it would be appropriate to share the top posts on PH in regards to childbirth concluding this weekend with an awesome giveaway of a special book that has just been released on the topic! So enjoy these favorite posts this week!

Originally posted on August 16, 2010.

There is no doubt that postpartum healing can be painful and challenging, but there are several natural methods for restoring your body in a peaceful and refreshing manner.

It is important to realize and be prepared that dealing with a large range of emotions after birth is very common. There are extreme changes happening in your body from various hormones (estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin, prolactin, and thyroid hormone) that occur after birth. Taking steps to prepare for postpartum in advance is essential for helping guard your adjusting body against the baby blues and postpartum depression that you are susceptible to after birth.

These recipes can be combined in advance for great relief, but also can be assembled as a wonderful gift set for an expectant mother.

Natural Nipple Cream

Combine equal portions of coconut oil, shea butter, and cocoa butter for a wonderfully moisturizing natural nipple cream. Coconut oil alone can often do the trick to soothing sore nipples. Use an old baby food store for storage. Apply liberally before and after nursing as desired. Completely safe for baby and moisturizing and healing for the breastfeeding mother.

Postpartum Care Pads

Witch hazel is your best friend for the postpartum healing period. Witch hazel can be used on swollen body parts (birth gives your body quite the beating), varicose veins and makes a wonderful treatment for two obnoxious new mama problems – a sore perineum and hemorrhoids. These soothing pads do wonders for soreness and swelling after vaginal birth. Prepare 18-24 ahead of time.

Overnight/Jumbo maxi pads
1/4 cup Witch hazel
2-3 drops Lavender oil
1 Tbsp Pure Aloe Vera gel
Aluminum foil

Combine witch hazel, lavender essential oil, and aloe vera gel in a small bowl and mix till thoroughly combined. Transfer to a small spray bottle. Unfold each pad, and spray each pad with the healing mixture till the pad is damp, but not soaked. Wrap each pad in foil and store them in the freezer. Witch hazel and lavender are natural astringents, so they’ll help reduce swelling, and the aloe and the cold are very soothing.

Refreshing Perineum Spray

Fill a small spray bottle with witch hazel and a few drops of lavender essential oil and apply to your perineum after you use the restroom.

Comfrey Gel

Comfrey is wonderfully healing for damaged skin, and is especially useful for lubricating the stretched, sour, and damaged skin of the perineum after childbirth. Apply a small scoop with your fingers from front to back after using the restroom postpartum. This was my favorite natural soothing relief for postpartum healing! Mountain Rose Herbs sells a Comfrey-St. John’s Wort Salve that is perfect for this use.

Healing Postpartum Bath Salts

Regular ionized table salt is wonderfully healing for sour and stretched muscles after birth. Plan to take 1-2 baths per day after birth to soak in a tub with 1 cup of salt. Add a few drops of lavendar, geranium or orange essential oil for a delightful pick-up.

Postpartum Blues Spray

Geranium or bergamot essential oils are excellent to prevent post-partum depression, so dilute a 2-3 drops in a small spray bottle or diffuse around the room to help balance all those adjusting hormones. A small spray bottle with this concoction is another great gift for a new mommy.

Homemade Mother’s Milk Tea

It’s never too early to start consuming mother’s milk tea for the hearty production of your milk supply. Start drinking 2-3 cups per day of this yummy homemade mother’s milk tea. Combine and store in a glass quart jar or give as a gift to an expectant mother.

Take time to rest, get fresh air, drink plenty of liquids and nutritional meals, and accept help that is offered to you. Set up a Meal Baby registry for those that want to provide a meal for you. Birthing a baby is a strenuous task and you want to take at least a week of very little movement to allow your body to recover properly. Becoming active too quickly can lead to further complications with excessive bleeding, and breast infections, which will only draw out the healing period. Blessings on all the soon to arrive babies out there!

You can find high quality ingredients for all of these recipes through Mountain Rose Herbs – my favorite natural healing cream, oils, and essential oil supplier!

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, nor do I claim to be able to give medical advice. This information is merely to educate, inspire, and motivate you to look into these issues more on your own, or to speak with your own medical practitioner for more information.

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